A Letter From Me to You: Solitude!
I am grateful for my solitude!
It is really quiet. The kind of quietness I am comfortably sitting under its wings and peacefully embraced. Yet I am also terrified. I can hear nothing but my own thoughts. It feels like someone placing their hand at the back of my head and pushing it against the mirror so that I can stare at my own reflection.
I used to see solitude as a wolf that kept chasing me in the dark forest when the moon was full, with its bloodstained monstrous fang. I ran for my life. The faster I ran, the deeper the cuts I got from bushy sharp branches sliding on my skin.
What did I think about when I was running? With each footstep placed heavily on the ground, I asked “Do I have to run for my entire life like this, fearful and exhausted?” This thought was scarier than the monster behind. Either I learned to tame it or I could run eternally. So I stopped.
I looked it in the eyes and listened to what it got to say, without the urge to respond, to defend or to judge. I’ve learnt that solitude is not meant to manifest your fears. Its very existence is meant to teach you to enjoy your presence. To breathe, to be mindful and to accept your thoughts as they come and go!