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Anxiety Used to Scare Me – Now It’s Become An Ally
For most of my life, living with anxiety was like trying to keep a beach ball underwater. No matter how hard I tried or how much pressure I exerted onto it, it would rudely pop up to the surface when I least expected it.
What I didn’t realise was that until this beach ball comes up to the surface, it remains hidden and secretive, and thus more deadly.
Admitting to myself that I had anxiety was the first step in releasing the pressure. Speaking about it with others was the second.
By no means was I healed but it didn’t have the same intensity as before, partly because I wasn’t trying to hide it from friends and family as much.
It was out in the open for all to see.
So when did it become an ally?
Once my fear of anxiety softened, I realised that it was there to protect me. When I was about to speak in public, for example, it would make my throat tighten and cause me not to think clearly. This was to stop me from humiliating myself in front of others.
Not that that’s what happened but this was the belief I held about myself so anxiety would show up to get me out of it.
I would also get anxious in social settings. Suddenly, I would find myself with sweaty palms…