Are You Stuck in Adolescence?
An eye-opening lesson on what it takes to become an adult.
When I was a kid, nobody in Brazil wore seat belts.
After an intense campaign, during which drivers were ruthlessly fined for not wearing belts, we finally learned. Now, everybody wears them. We grew up.
Or did we?
What separates teens from adults
Credits to Mark Manson — yes, the “no fucks given” guy — for the insight.
As Mark explains, teens do X not to suffer Y, or to gain Z. Teens operate on a transactional basis.
Adults, on the other hand, do X because X is the right thing to do. Nothing more, nothing less. Adults operate on a principle basis.
So, if I wear my seat belt only to avoid a fine, I’m behaving like a teen. If I wear it because we must take good care of our bodies, I’m behaving as an adult.
Take some time to digest that.
How mature are we?
The sad truth is that most adults are teens in disguise.
They look like adults. They have a big house, a fancy car. Damn, they even have a spouse and kids.
But…
- They drive fast in their neighborhood — unless there is a cop.
- They act as if they like someone they dislike to get a job promotion.
- They worry about other people’s opinions to the point of not following their true calling, after all, what might people say, right?
This is transactional living at its best. Again: you do X not to suffer Y, or to gain Z. Everything is a trade-off.
However…
The best things in life cannot be traded
Take friendship, for example.
Imagine buying a friend. Ridiculous, isn’t it? Yes, but people try to buy friends all the time these days. Not with cash, of course, but with exaggerated flattery, gifts, false smiles, and maybe a fancy yacht. You know what I’m talking about.
“The only things in life of real value and meaning are achieved without conditions, without transactions” — Mark Manson
What about your deepest calling? Are you suppressing it to avoid a harsh confrontation with your parents? Are you afraid of how your friends would react?
A fully grown adult knows he must pursue his calling because he understands the alternative would be a life of bitterness and golden handcuffs. And by doing so, he lives a happier, more fulfilling life.
“Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”― Bernard M. Baruch
An adult enjoys spending time with people he genuinely likes and effortlessly cultivates true friends — friends who would risk your friendship by telling you how much of a jerk you were when you mistreated the waitress.
Adults do what is right for its own sake, not to avoid punishment or gain a reward.
So, why exactly are you wearing your seat belt again?
