Become Someone You Can Admire

You don’t have to be someone you don’t like, even for a second

Photo by Norbert Buduczki on Unsplash

Did you always know you would be the person you are today?

Like were you certain that this is who you would be? Are you satisfied with how you faced your joys and sorrows? Did you know that you would find yourself along this path? Did you know the relationships you would build and the influence they would have over you? You may still have pieces of your childhood still with you but did you expect to be who you are today?

And considering all of this, do you like who you are?

Before you answer, take time to think deeply about what I ask. Look at your life. Look at the people around you. Look at your job or whatever vocation you hold. Look at everything that takes your time. These are all connected to you. They are in your life because you choose to have them there or at least you choose not to get rid of them.

Now go deeper — look at how you face life, the good and bad parts of it. Look at how you react to adversity. Look at your virtues. Do you keep your word? Do you succumb to your emotions? Do you take responsibility for your life and the parts of it that go so very wrong? From an outsider’s view, can you admire what you see?

Do you ever wonder, even for a short moment, whether you could be more?

Those things you don’t like about yourself, you sort of suffer them, don’t you? For a moment, they move you away from your center and push you towards being someone else, someone you prefer to stay away from. But do you wish to suffer such things for the rest of your life? Has this discomfort become a comfort zone for you? Have you accepted this as normal?

The subtle truth is that you don’t ever have to be someone you don’t admire. We may be convinced at times, but we choose how we respond. We may be convinced to be sad in the midst of our sorrows, or angry when we’re overwhelmed, but how we respond to these moments will decide whether we can admire ourselves.

And if we don’t like who we’ve been for all this time, we can change that

Change is often given a bad reputation, but I wonder about that because change is natural, it is a big part of nature. And for us, change can help us be better, it can help us improve and grow, but it can also help us be worse, to stagnate, to be who we are not. Change is powerful, but we have to take responsibility for how it affects us in terms of our own life.

If you wish to improve, you can — regardless of how far you’ve strayed off of your path you can redeem yourself. Time may not seem to be on your side, but for as long as you are alive, you can change for the better. This is a decision you make. If you’ve been negatively programmed or learned to respond to life in a destructive way, you can choose a different way, you no longer have to feed these old habits.

Let’s say you don’t like having arguing, but you find that it is necessary for you to have certain conversations — you don’t have to argue to have that conversation. You can speak. You can be honest. You can do your best to find a common ground to grow off of with the people involved, but you are not doomed to argue, this is an approach you learn to face an unfortunate situation.

Like this, you can find a better way to approach everything in your life

You may not have started out in the best way or have all of the best things given to you, but you always have the freedom to choose your own way. If you have tendencies that you don’t like about yourself, change them, find a different way, find a better way. Don’t be discouraged from this journey, improvement often comes best from first doing things in the worst way possible.

A better way may not find you immediately, but even holding yourself back from raising your voice and arguing is better than doing what you did before. Over time, you will figure out better ways to approach these very moments that left you feeling so uncomfortable. The main goal is that you have to build up the strength to learn from your mistakes and find a different way forward.

This is why life is a journey, right?

Life isn’t about finding yourself alone, it’s about creating yourself. It’s about deciding who you will be. If you believe you are fated to be a certain way, that is a limitation you have chosen for yourself. At the end of it all, the only person you are destined to be is who you choose to be. No one can rob you of your will and that is your power.

So decide your own fate — if you don’t like things about yourself, change it. If you do like things about yourself, hold on to it. And just keep going, keep learning, keep growing and keep sculpting away at the masterpiece of your life. At the end of it all, when you look back at what you have created, you will truly be satisfied with what you see.

How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself?” — Epictetus

Invest In Your Existence, Kind Reader,




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René Chunilall

René Chunilall


Sharing the lessons I learn on my journey towards self-mastery | I post videos on Instagram too: