Can You Withstand Your Pain?

Because the way out is through

Designed by ChatGPT

An essential part of healing is the ability to stay present when the darkness that’s in there comes to the surface.

When we’re using positive affirmations, meditation, prayers and so on; we’re “teasing” these unconscious parts of us, and with some diligence, they eventually “respond.”

Usually, their response is overwhelming.

At times, I’ve asked myself, “how can a human being possibly be alive while containing so much negativity inside? It’s a miracle. This body is really tenacious!”

Usually called “Limiting beliefs,” they’re emotions and thoughts we’ve identified with for long, therefore, their pull is strong. It’s hard to keep one’s sanity when we suddenly feel worthless as an example.

Technically, we know we’re not worthless.

We know we’re valued. Maybe a friend often tells us she appreciates us. We educated ourselves for a good amount of time. Consciously, it makes sense. Yet, at this moment — we have a hard time feeling any other than worthless. Our scope of perception has narrowed down to this dark and claustrophobic cave. And getting out of it feels almost impossible.

We look around, there’s nothing to be seen. We try to move, there’s nowhere to go. Our knowledge, our skills, everything we felt confident about – it all looks powerless against the situation we’re in. We feel trapped and condemned.

Even then.

The only way to get through this is by fighting.

A fight is not won by voluminous biceps or impressive weaponry – a fight is won by one’s ability to endure. And for me, endurance is less physical, more spiritual. For me, true endurance is one’s ability to keep one’s sanity regardless of what’s happening.

Keeping one’s sanity at 100% in critical times is obviously not always possible. We’re adults here. But during really challenging times; keeping at least 10–30% of one’s sanity – heck, even 1% during the most difficult of times can be enough to turn the tide.

How much of your sanity can you keep during a heartbreaking moment? You may have lost a loved one or even gone bankrupt, the examples never end. How much of your sanity can you keep?

That is proof of character.

Character is built on experience. The experienced has experienced what you’re experiencing. There are no shortcuts to growth. So he is just like you. Except he chose to fight back, many times. Again, just like you. Right now.

At first, we may not feel like we’ve won. In fact, more than once, we may go to bed feeling defeated, despite all the hard work we put into strengthening ourselves.

So what? It’s how it works. There’s no getting around this process. We’ve got to keep trying.

Even if all we’re able to land on this giant monster we created is a single seemingly insignificant hit. Then we stood our ground for that instant. The next time. Two hits. The next. Five.

Eventually, we familiarize ourselves with the process. A momentum forms. Now we have a chance at landing more hits, until eventually, the “monster” is seen for what it is.

While our range of skills and talents may vary, human beings all have the potential and the ability to hone their grit.

I read a definition of the word grit I liked a lot the other day.

Possessing an indomitable spirit.

It’s close to my definition of endurance, isn’t it? I may lose to you in this fight, but I’ll definitely hit you at least once. The next time I’ll make it two. The next, five.

Until you’re down.

As long as I stand my ground, even if I fall at the end, it’s enough fuel for me to keep going.

During times of crisis, what could help us increase our sanity from let’s say, 1% to 10%, or maybe more?

Remembering the important things. We’re alive. We have some people we love, and that love us in return. Butterflies are still swirling around. There’s oxygen. There’s water. We’ve been through tough times. We survived. We’ll be fine.

More practically, breathing deeply helps. Taking some time to process our emotions and reflect do as well. And asking for guidance to our Higher Power, which is free.

You’re not alone.

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