Famous leaders and teachers, like Neale Donald Walsh, Ekkehart Tolle, Ken Honda, or even Mister Miyagi, agree that finding balance in life is crucial.
But as with all learning matters — it might be harder done than said, especially if you are at the beginning of your journey or might have lost your way.
The first step is identifying what forces influence your way of living; the second is to find your balance on your way.
Life is never a straight line, and for many, it is more like a pendulum with higher or lower amplitudes.
By reflecting on the later-described opposing forces' effect, you can accelerate your development process and decrease unwanted amplitudes.
It will contribute to a richer and more meaningful life.
#1. Knowing and doing
Knowing that a hotplate can be hot and painful is different from actually feeling the burn on your hand.
The same goes for love. Reading about true love is different from actually feeling the diverse set of feelings you undergo while you are on a conquest for his or her heart.
The wisdom you gather by reading everything about intense emotions, unexplored countries, meaningful actions, or dreams won’t replace the experience.
A brave character like you will always seek the real deal as this is the only way to enrich life in a field where it counts — in reality.
Everything else does only happen in your mind, and we all know that your mind plays tricks on you. Dr. Leonard Orr and Robert Anton Wilson found out that:
“Whatever the thinker thinks will be demonstrated by the demonstrator!”
Your mind always has the seemingly “right” answer, but your heart knows the truth. And actions count more than words. Sometimes, it is better to follow your heart.
From ancient Greece, we know that humans seek the “truth about themselves.” The Delphi Oracle's inscription says: “know yourself.”
Hinduism goes further and, in my view, is a much lovelier way: “be yourself.”
It is more critical for Hinduism what you do instead of defining yourself by thinking about who you are.
You can be become a master by:
- Finding the balance in knowing and acting.
- Treating failures as feedback.
- Stopping to overthink: you can instead gather all known data, act in a defined way, and receive feedback that another way might be more promising in the future.
#2. Why and what
We all know the great books by Simon Sinek, “Start with why.” It is more than a business advisory book. It holds advice for your entire life if you use it correctly.
Thus, it helps to see where the question “why” guides you in the right direction.
Finding the “why” in your life is one of the biggest tasks, and if found, it can boost all areas of life.
As you know from the movie “Soul:”
“It is not about finding your purpose, it is about being ready for life.”
Your actions define your life, not the quest for your purpose.
And if you ask “why” in situations where you feel down or unmotivated — the “why” will grant you answers that are neither helpful nor will get you into action.
In these cases, the question “what” is the way to go:
- WHAT is it that makes me feel bad — and how can I change it?
- WHAT can I do NOW to IMPROVE the situation?
One approach can be that you ask yourself how you could improve your future encounters with specific situations. It would be best if you could focus on the “how-to” instead of the “why did I.”
The “why” won’t help you improve the future events — it only shows why you acted the way you did. The “how-to” will help you identify possible improvement fields. It is more action-oriented and will get you into changing your next steps.
You can become a master by:
- Asking the right questions (the quality of questions you ask defines the quality of your life).
- Getting into action instead of pitying yourself by asking “why did it happen” instead of “what can I do.”
- Focusing on adding purpose to your life.
- Acting instead of waiting for the purpose to knock on your door.
#3. Love and ignorance
The waste field of love, some describe it as “love is a battlefield,” is the champions league of life.
Finding your soulmate, your special one, or your +1, can be, saying the least, an exciting journey.
Following the excellent advice of Osho, people should learn to love themselves first because a relationship with another person is always a mirror of yourself.
What will you see if you see into this mirror? It would be wise if you can overcome the sometimes year-long battle with yourself:
- Am I right, too thin, too fat, too …?
- Have I done this or that wrong,…?
Only if you accept yourself on a deep level — you can be fully ready for love. Otherwise, you will ignore essential lessons in your life.
Speaking about ignorance:
“The opposite of love is not hatred; it is ignorance. ”
Most men are suffering from this illness. I can speak from my personal experience as I often withdraw from the “battlefield” to control the situation.
This behavior has nothing to do with love. Ignorance grants you control over the other person, and you will let the other person suffer on a much higher level.
If you understand love on a deep level — you know that a clear “No” or “Yes” holds more “love” in it than remaining silent.
By speaking out the truth, you also end the inner dialogues and fights.
You can become a master by:
- Finding out what grants you great feelings and where your weak spots are.
- Understanding that ignorance won’t grant you anything else than control, but love is something you cannot control.
- Feeling the words “unconditional love for others means fully accepting yourself.”
#4. Great goals or immense pain
According to the famous Tony Robbins, you can categorize all living beings into two opposing forces regarding motivation.
You either move due to immense pain or if you have great goals. You may think about your last changes in your relationships, jobs, or results in hobbies.
The funny thing is — this does not only apply to humans.
You may have heard that humans train orcas (kept in captivity). But orcas are only motivated by big goals — their fish or an equivalent reward. If you try to get them into action by pain, they will attack you.
You sure know similar strategies from yourself:
- You either get into action due to a close deadline or because you want to receive an excellent grade.
- You work out because you want to get rid of some pounds or look great at the beach.
- You endure all the pain as you don’t see a new goal worth moving for (this also applies to relationships).
As already mentioned, this is a universal law. It does not only work for you but also for your working colleagues, family members and all sort of friends.
Motivation is not a complicated system if you understand the power of goals and pains.
You can become a master by:
- Finding out which force motivates you, you can trick your mind and body in the desired direction.
- You can use these opposing forces to bring out the best in everyone you know.
As the old Jedis found out — only the dark side thinks in extremes. Therefore, a too extreme focus on one of the opposing forces won’t lead you to happiness.
A wise master would:
- know the difference between knowing and doing, and act accordingly,
- find his “why,” focus on “what” to do, and be brave enough for life,
- stop ignoring others and himself, and start a love relationship with his- or herself,
- identify how to motivate his- or herself and others to bring out the best of everyone.
And as always — please enjoy the ride!
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