Choose Your Difficulty
None of our choices are implemented in absolute value brackets and isolated from the realities of the world. This is only possible in mathematics and the world of imagination.
The things we choose have both pros and cons in our lives. Even though we know this, sometimes, while experiencing it, a reluctance comes and settles within us.
A voice saying, I don’t want this…
The same voice often says, “But I don’t want anything else either right now.”
What now
The other day, I was preparing to attend the German-speaking class when I realized that I didn’t want to go there, even though I had been fond of it for a few months.
These classes were perfectly suitable for me. Moreover, they made significant contributions to my German language development.
Oddly enough, there was no other plan I wanted to replace it with.
I just didn’t want to go to the course.
I did not like encountering these feelings and thoughts.
Saying “I don’t want this or that” is also a choice, it also has consequences
Sometimes we know what we don’t want to do, and we don’t know what we want to do.
We are faced with a paradox.
On one hand, there is our job, our hobby, our habit, to which we have been tied thread by thread over time, and on the other hand, there is uncertainty.
Thus, an oscillation between forces begins.
While a pendulum swings this way and that way in our minds, we neither settle into continuing the activity we have mastered nor the uncertainty.
In this oscillation, we may be exempt from the consequences of making choices for a while. However, this time, whether we are aware of it or not, we choose low motivation, confusion, and its effects on our lives.
From oscillation to equilibrium
Some of us love the dynamism that the back and forth between thoughts and emotions brings to life.
Some of us are used to forcing ourselves to continue or, on the contrary, running away.
However, with each move we make, the pendulum swings more instead of coming into balance.
The way to make a choice that will bring a new balance is to open the doors of the rooms where we have locked our needs and fears and look inside.
Paths full of difficulties
When the change process is triggered, timely or untimely, by internal or external reasons, all the paths ahead are full of difficulties of their own.
I mostly try proceeding with what I’m doing. So that day, my first action would be to push myself to go to the course without thinking. In this case, I would experience difficulties.
Or, less likely, I would choose not to take the course and start thinking about how else to use the time I have left. But often, what seems like a lot of free time flies by before I figure out what to do. This is another challenge.
This time I chose neither path. I took a different route by sitting down and asking myself sincere questions.
I wanted to understand how my attitude towards these classes, which were beneficial to my language development and which I had previously attended, had changed. This process also has its difficulties.
While I was waiting for answers to my reluctance, such as low motivation, being bored, and not liking the classes anymore, my needs emerged.
Taking the responsibility
One of my needs was the desire to learn the language in a more focused way.
The course leveled up my language development, and at this point, I started to want to learn more intensively and focused.
The format there was mostly designed to follow a first-aid approach to beginner and intermediate levels.
When I realized this, my questions about myself and the course ended.
This need belonged to me, and I was responsible for meeting it.
Responsibility brings clarity.
It was also clear that I would not be able to find a new alternative in one day. However, I could have spent my energy and time finding an effective method for me rather than wasting my time forcing myself to continue.
I also saw that it was more suitable for my goals to continue there for now, rather than not being able to do anything for my language development.
Thus, my perspective shifted from feeling obligated to making a choice.
Other motivations
With the change of perspective, I saw other factors that were good for me:
I remembered that I was glad to see some of the classmates I met on the course. Our connection motivated me to go there.
Reading the texts and discussing with them was my favorite part of the course and still serves my purpose.
I remembered how relaxing it was for me to walk to the course. Plus, there’s never been a better time of the day to listen to my favorite podcasts.
The important thing is to show up. This always brings new experiences. Even though my expectations changed, I remembered that I loved it and valued it anyway.
Be open to the fact that what you maintain during this time will become easier for you.
“Doing the things, we insist on doing becomes easier over time. “Not because the nature of the work has changed, but because our power to do it has increased.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Choose your difficulty
However, now, I’m aware of my changed requirements that are aligned with my goals.
Ultimately, I will make a decision shaped by the facts I encounter while searching for solutions.
That’s a better way for me than being on the swing.
You will either be in a pendulum swing, or you will face uncertainty; You will either solve the difficulties of continuing or find a new way for yourself.
You see everything has its challenges.
If we dare to handle what is difficult for us, our domain of influence expands in life.
In a sense, this means that you can consciously choose to change, and it translates into the power of walking the path you choose.
