Don’t Control Your Desires
“Play” with them instead
We are told to control our desires.
To control is mental. It doesn’t lead to truth.
We are told to control by authorities we believe in. Out of belief we act, but believing rarely equates to understanding.
One needs to think for oneself.
Example. Many try to control their sexual desires.
Their lives are an endless struggle.
In my opinion, a better word than control is monitor.
Contrary to control, monitoring is flexible.
It doesn’t seek an outcome. It’s aligned with attention, hence, openness of mind, therefore, possible understanding.
If I have a strong sexual desire that I don’t deem to be appropriate; I monitor it instead of pushing it down, and letting it consume me.
Many do this. Many suffer the consequences.
I think we repress those feelings because we condemn them. Perhaps we find them immoral, or evil. Ultimately, it all seems to tie back to the image we have about ourselves.
“I am a good person. I am a moral person. I have principles. Mom told me I’m an angel.”
The idea of having such cravings doesn’t align with who we believe to be.
And that is embarrassing, hence difficult to handle.
Monitoring, in this example, allows us to let the desire come back to the surface, and feel it.
It clearly doesn’t align with who we believe to be.
It’s uncomfortable to even look at it, how could I be like this?
Yet I am.
While I may feel uneasy during this process, it is a humbling experience.
I am not who I thought I was. I am not as great, or as much of a saint as I believed to be.
I am human, first and foremost. I mess up. I make mistakes. I’m confused.
There is a friction between who I believe to be, and what I am.
This process of stretching & tearing apart is definitely not comfortable, but it is the beginning of wisdom.
A necessary step to go forward.
Some pain is fine every now and then. We need it to mature.
Coming back to the example.
I am aware that I have this sexual desire while also being conscious that it’s not appropriate based on my given circumstances.
I don’t fight it. I don’t condemn myself. I simply jot the facts down.
It’s okay to not have all the answers all the time.
Sometimes, we simply need to trust the process and do what feels right.
(Most of the time, actually).
The way out is literally through.
Answers often come in the form of insights after the storm has passed.
This is why it’s called a test.
It doesn’t have to hurt. But one needs to experience/feel the different facets of the subject.
Just felt like sharing these thoughts with you.
Hope they resonate with your meditations.
Stay updated with my work here.
Best.
