Don’t Get Angry at People. Direct All Your Anger at the Internal Demons That Hold You Back
Anger can be a powerful tool to help you grow
Getting angry at another person is a colossal waste of time.
The ill-effects of anger are many and well documented:
- One person’s anger is the flame that morphs into conflicts, fights, even wars
- Time spent in anger is time wasted. This time can be spent in productive endeavors.
- What feels like indignation is often a disguised form of entitlement.
- The granddaddy reason: Anger is bad for your health. Very bad.
Not all anger is bad. Instead of getting angry at people, why not get angry at those internal demons for preventing you from living a full life?
Get Angry at Resistance for Holding You Back
“What if I fail?”
This question has held more people back than any other. Steven Pressfield, in his life-changing book The War of Art, tells you who is asking you this question. Resistance. You have to get the better of Resistance, says Pressfield.
I tell you to pick a fight with Resistance.
Is Resistance telling you to not work on the article because you suck as a writer? Tell Resistance you’re going to write regardless. You will show Resistance who is the boss.
Get positively furious with resistance, and channel this anger into that article or book. Type away furiously. Nobody tells you what to do.
When your spouse can’t tell you what to do, who the heck is Resistance to call the shots.
Get Angry at Procrastination for Holding Your Back
You are destined for greatness.
Tomorrow.
Today, however, you have earned the day off today and will sit on your sofa and watch TV.
Does this sound familiar? Procrastination has served you convincing reasons why you should not get to it today. And the same way we all fall prey to advertisers, you have fallen for the Procrastination’s story.
Having read through the article this far, you now know what to do.
Tell Procrastination off. Use the choicest language that appeals to you. Tell Procrastination to jump over the cliff if he so wishes.
Who is he to tell you not to do the work today? You will do it right away. And nobody can convince you otherwise.
Oh, while you’re angry at Procrastination, yell at your TV and sofa for being Procrastination’s partners in crime.
Get Angry at that your Mind for Feeding You that Negative Thought
You’re in the shower.
Your mind reminds you of that time Joe Doe humiliated you in that party with his snide remark. You immediately get angry at Joe Doe. How dare he. You quickly list all the other occasions Joe wronged you. The nerve. And just as quickly you conjure up exactly what you will tell him when you see him next.
It is not Joe you should get angry with. Get angry with your mind for serving you this recommendation. “This is not what I asked for, get your algorithm straight”, you should sneer at your mind. The more you update your preferences, the mind will serve you better and uplifting content.
And, don’t stay too angry with your mind.
Your mind is a valuable ally to help you achieve greatness. Unlike your fights with fear, resistance or procrastination, where your goal was to make a clean break, the fight with your mind is temporary. Not unlike how you discipline your children for their own good.
Get Angry at any Habit That is Not Serving You Well
You know all your habits that are not serving you well.
You also know that kicking that habit is not a one-day exercise. They have been constant companions for a long time now. They have become a part of you.
Well, pick a fight with them.
“Smoking, you are an asshole of the highest order”. Every time you light a cigarette. If smoking is like any normal person, the tenth time you pick a fight with him, he’ll be peeved with you.
The twentieth time, he is going to be pissed. The hundredth time you diss him, he’s going to call it off. He’s got his self respect to protect.
Be careful. Don’t feel bad and call him back and apologize. Don’t think of all the good moments the two of you have shared.
Make it a true farewell. Break up for good.
Personify Your Internal Demons And Direct All Your Anger at Them
Oh Arjuna, Duryodhana is not your enemy. Anger and desire are your real enemies. — Krishna, in the Bhagavad Gita
You may have noticed I capitalized Resistance and Procrastination. This is not to elevate them to a higher pedestal and refer to them the way I refer to the Lord. Nope. I mention them the way I would mention John Sugardoe.
“Named must your fear be, before banishing it you can.” — Yoda
I personified Resistance and Procrastination. To make it easy to get angry at them. To prevent them from insidiously creeping into your subconscious.
Direct all your anger at the internal demons. For good reason — they are anchors that hold you back from achieving your dreams and goals.
Congratulations! You’ve transmuted your anger to serve your goals well.
Thanks to Om Swami for teaching me to personify fear, which inspired this article.
