Flower Peddles and Dew Drops
When I woke up from a long sleep, my eyes were the first things that needed to adjust. The light was bright and blinding. It was warm on my face and kissed my skin with rays of passing solar flares. I blinked the sleep away. My mind clouded with warped dreams and realities of the lives I had once lived, the one I am living, and the ones I will live. I saw all the variations of flesh my soul used as a vessel.
In each of those lives I lived, I faced the same situations I do now, but with multiple different outcomes. Each breath I took in those past selves left a lingering impact on my soul to provide me with knowledge of who I am growing to be.
In each of those lives I faced adversity and triumphed over the situations that wished me ruin. I have faced a familiar enemy that has won many times over, but this time, I came out triumphant. I often ask myself if the quelling battles I faced in the lives I once knew got the best of me? I ask myself, are the stubborn and hardheaded traits that I have in this lifetime from past battles and wars that I fought and lost? My soul has battle wounds. Scars on my back from daggers held by trusted hands. Wounds that never healed over the millenniums that my soul has wondered.
In past lives I was the consort of a villainous woman who longed for me to marry her stain of a daughter. I have been a soul damaged by darkness and used it to harm others. I have been a lonely lover, reckless in a search for happiness. The one thing that each of these lives have in common is a fire within my veins that refuses to conform to the ideas of others. I was the rebel they never knew they wanted. It stands true in this lifetime.
Throughout my souls timeline I have gained knowledge from the circumstances that befell on me. I have regained my composure and gripped my sword. I wait in the shadows for the perfect time to strike. With each battle I have won, I have grown stronger and wiser. I understand my worth and will not allow another person to come in between what I feel is of me. The past lives that I have once lived have shown me how to cope with the heartbreaks and the pain that this world has to offer. I have regained consciousness of who I am and see through the veil of those I once saw as good. It is the brush with death and the realizing of this mortal body that I conceded within my soul to search for the truths I knew were there all along. My rebel heart burns hot and the smoke emitting from me is neon orange.
The spirit of the Phoenix burns within me. It is the essence my soul is made of. It is bright and beautiful. I am told I have a light about me and others flock to my energy. A phoenix, where it can burn and cause destruction, is also full of hope and love. Channeling that inner spirit beast inside of me ignites the passion for myself that I have so long put to the side.
The lives I have lived were my SOUL’s ROADMAP that has brought me here. The intuition in me tells me to fight for my own independence and righteousness. To search for what I truly need to fulfill this lifetime before I branch off into another. I long to find that purpose and to discover the truths of who I am and what I was meant to be.
I have come to realize that life is a lot like FLOWER PEDDLES AND DEW DROPS. It is not perfect, but it can be beautiful if allowed. So I dust off the ashes of the old me that once was and welcome the new. As pleasant as what I might be, it is best to remember a phoenix is made of fire…and fire burns. This, is a warning most heeded.
