PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Get Closure on 2020 Like It’s Your Ex
Don’t get angry; get even (savvier)
Let’s compare 2020 with a past relationship we might have once had. Let’s cast our minds back: It might have been toxic, made us feel small on occasion. The relationship might have gone on for a bit longer than we wanted, and perhaps we felt nothing but relief when it ended. It may have also given us great memories at some points, but the bad, bitter memories overshadow these. Like with such past relationships, you might feel that you wasted precious time and invested far too much energy in 2020 — a year that served us s***show after s***show. As we recover from our residual 2020 hangovers right now, we need to reflect; we need closure on 2020.
I am not going to deny that, for me, 2020 was kind of a dogsh** year. It was really difficult and barely liveable at some points. But, to say that nothing good came of 2020 or the global pandemic, and to go into 2021 with the anger I have towards 2020 is also dogsh**. For lack of better words, I really am going to attempt to polish a turd here. 💩
To move on, we have to show up. Be present. Take accountability, accept the lessons we’ve learnt. Just like you may never get an apology from your ex to make things better, accept that you won’t get one for what happened to you last year. It’s easier said than done, I know. But we all know we are better versions of ourselves when we’re not bitter, petty, angry beings. So, crack open your tub of Ben & Jerry’s and let’s get some closure on 2020.
An ode to the road ahead
Tabula rasa, a fresh new leaf, a clean slate.
Why start from scratch though when you can relate
Everything you’ve learned to struggles ahead;
Not immune to hardships, no, but better prepared.
Take what’s bygone and it learnings,
You’ve been through a lot, which is only confirming
That you can do anything; you’ve got the experience.
Why forget the year that’s brought you resilience?
Ever-flourishing, aim to rise up.
Never be mad; just be done. Be wiser.
Twenty-twenty will exist as a milestone;
You, you absolutely survived the unknown.
On this note, I’d say it’s time to admit:
‘New year, new me’ is bullsh**;
Every year brings great new lessons; that’s literally it.
A year empty of plans, but not of value
‘In media res’ is a term used in the context of classic epics, such as Homer’s The Iliad. It means ‘literally, into the midst of things’. And that’s where we all are: in the middle of our own narratives, our own stories. We’re not starting at Chapter 1 again. We’re not starting from scratch. We have lessons and memories — good and bad alike.
How can we grow if we don’t bring these learnings from relationship to relationship, from new year to new year? As a wise Greek philosopher once said, ‘the only constant is change’. It’s safe to say 2020 brought a lot of changes to our lives, many of which we are not thankful for. But we can get closure on difficult times in our lives by accepting these changes and reflecting on our lessons.
They say you shouldn’t be jumping into new relationships if you’re still hung up on or angry about your old one — that’s how I feel we should treat 2020. Resolve any issues you have with 2020 before you project all your 2020 energy onto 2021.
‘Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness.’ — Thich Nhat Hanh
How much importance do you attach to each calendar year? Do you make new year’s resolutions? What did the global pandemic of 2020 teach you?
I’m not the best advocate of new year’s resolutions, but if your resolution is to read more Medium articles on confidence, self-love and mental health, I won’t hold you back from achieving that. Read some of my content for a good place to start. ;-)
