Having Compassion For Your Past Self In Relationships
It’s Okay: You Did The Best You Could
Recently I met up with a friend and spoke to her about how I’m still processing some messy emotions from my breakup in the Spring.
She commented that she was surprised I was still feeling this way as it was months ago now and she thought I’d have moved on.
Unfortunately, I have not.
I’m still very much in the thick of it all.
I try not to place judgement on myself for this (as I use to). I do probably hold on to things for longer than most, but I can see there are still things I need to learn. It’s natural for time to need to run its course, and it’s ok to not be ok.
I think time and perspective outside of the relationship reveals more, meaning we move through different stages of grief as time moves on.
Initially, for a month or so post-breakup, I was upset but also relieved.
Not relieved in a sense that I I’d lost someone, mind you. I was relieved because I was no longer dealing with what has always been my biggest trigger: intimate relationships.
In fact, this recent relationship, and the awareness I brought into it has really shed light how truly stress-inducing they are for me. In the…