Help Or Intervention? How to Feed The Line Between The Two?

We rise by lifting others the *right* way.

Photo by Neil Thomas on Unsplash

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” — Lou Holtz

The universe works in mysterious ways to bring us what we desire when we help others in their journey towards what they are passionate about.

The words we utter, the light we share, the intentions we breed become a perpetual home that comforts us whenever we need it. The not-so-obvious mysteries always shun the darkness from life when we are willing to help others.

Each step we take towards helping another soul is actually a step towards our own light, towards our own journeys.

The problem, however, arises when we blur the line between help and intervention.

Why one must feed this line?

Helping others is what humanity is all about. Along with inner peace and light, we get tools to help ourselves in the uncertain, unpredictable future. We add nuance and depth to our lives as well.

Giving advice, for example, benefits the person sharing experience, guidance as this research paper shows.

The involvement as an intervention, however, is a burden not only for the other person but also for ourselves.

The fading line between help and intervention might not be apparent; it sometimes seems so easy to help the other person and unknowingly we heed towards erasing the line between help and intervention.

Help is assisting the other person in finding the light from the grayish clouds of life; intervention, on the other hand, is finding the light for the other person. Yes, this co-dependence might help us somewhere, somehow. In the long run, however, it might not serve as a sufficient tool.

When I started my writing journey, I felt so small and very frustrated whenever I wasn’t writing. The journey had great twists and turns and it still has) but in this short time, despite the bouts of loneliness and self-doubt, I found a way to create a new version of myself. My words became a guide for me beckoning me towards myself whenever I got lost in the flux of life.

That’s the same thing the author Austin Kleon notes in his book Steal Like an Artist,

“It’s in the act of making things that we figure out who we are.”

The point is, as we trudge through our own journeys, we learn by experience. When we reach somewhere (that may or may not be the surefire end), each step that we have had traveled inspires us to continue; we find tools to help and heal our present and future selves. Intervention is an impedance in the way to growth, for that matter.

Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

The question, then, is how to draw a discernible line between help and intervention in the tricky business of life? How to help someone in finding their way instead of finding the way for themselves?

In the book, The Courage to be Disliked, the author probes the depth associated with interpersonal relationships. In that book, along with other gems, I found a way to feed the line between help and intervention.

The idea motivates us to ask one simple question on this road i.e. we should continually be asking ourselves whose task is this? This conception, which is rooted in Adlerian psychology, is the first step towards easing the load for ourselves and others. This is a step towards awareness and,

“The first element of change is awareness. You can’t change something unless you know it exists.” — T. Harv Eker

One fellow, for example, seeks some sort of help with work from the other person. Now it might be easier for the other person to help the first one out because he/she has had expertise in that area but the thing that needs attention is: through our ways of helping others, we share something in the make-up of other person’s thoughts — thoughts that create that person’s future in some not-so-apparent ways.

Separating the task, here, means identifying one’s responsibility in that particular situation.

It means to choose the path, choose the responsibility that we have in our that particular relationship with that person — without intruding in other person’s matters.

Separation of tasks is a subtle way to avoid entangling the loops of help-obsession. Since we all are given unique lives, what works for us might not work for others. Moreover, we will not always be there to help the other person.

The important thing, then, is we must help each other in finding what is best for ourselves while keeping a clear picture of what we are doing.

There’s a lot that the world teaches us each day. Sharing these lessons with others creates healing, inspiring home not only for the other person but also for ourselves. However, there is a subtle, intricate hurdle — the ingrained tendency to assist others without considering whether the help offers growth or drought in the long term.

Handling interpersonal relationships is an intricate art, but if we add flavors of deliberation and consciousness to it, it would be easier to share tangible help and growth.

“You never learn the most valuable lessons in life until you go through your own journey.” — Roy T. Bennett

Let’s not forget the quote above while offering help.

Thank YOU very much for the time! I’d love to read your thoughts on this topic. :)

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Fiza Ameen

Fiza Ameen

A nyctophile, truth-seeker gravitating towards human nature| Writing is my way of unlearning the patterns.

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