Here’s Why Some Things Don’t Go Your Way — And What You Can Do About It

The universe is not against you.

A man standing on the hills, with a torch light attached to his head, looking at the night sky.
Photo by Štefan Štefančík on Unsplash

A major part of what keeps us going, is our vision for things that we deeply desire, work towards, and hope for.

It’s not to be taken by surprise then, the feelings that consume us, when those things that we envision fall apart — all at once, or even gradually.

And no matter how hard we try to fight the reality of what happens, that is what makes our life — and most importantly, shapes it too.

When anything but what we want, happens, it’s a cue for us to do something about it — and our doing is what counts during those times.

There could be two kinds of action that is (solely) on us to take, and it is what defines the rest of our lives that follow.

1. To Change

It takes more than we’d like to admit, to change any aspect pertaining to our lives (and ourselves), even if it’s clearly and evidently not working for us.

It is natural of us, as humans, to resist breaking from anything that we’ve been familiar with, and especially so when the element in question, has brought us comfort of some sort — even if that comfort was only envisioned in our minds.

When some things don’t go our way, it is our responsibility to change whatever it takes, to humbly walk away from what did not work for us — and gracefully step into what we can redirect our efforts to.

In the words of Simon Sinek,

“When we have a clear sense of our destination, we can be flexible in the route we take to reach it.”

Yes, we may aspire for some things, and it is not wrong to hold onto our visions, despite it not working out for us — but we must realize the need to find other ways of working towards them.

Sometimes, things may not go our way, not because they are not meant to — but because, we need to change our way towards them, instead.

2. To Accept

We might be up for the greatest battle of our lives, when life lets us down — we’re ready to fight everything it takes, without even realizing that it’s not our battle in the first place.

As painful as it sounds, sometimes, things don’t go our way, because we’re not meant to reach out for them.

This, by no means, is a cue for us to be brought down to being complacent participants in our lives — but a call for us to actively explore what we can rise to.

As cliché as it is, sometimes, lemons are best experienced by having them as lemonades!

Nietzsche advocated for loving one’s fate in a way that allows one to experience the good, bad, and ugly — all as essential to living a full life — Amor Fati, as he described it.

To accept the happenings of our lives that don’t go our way, means to be open to finding out what might — and who knows, what a wonderful surprise that might turn out to be?

Whether we act by changing, or accepting — either way, we evolve into better versions of ourselves.

The universe is not against you — it is only showing you more than one way in which it is there for you, and with you.

When things don’t go our way, we can do a million things to fight against what’s beyond our control — or we can act on one of the two things that are within our control.

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