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How Setting Boundaries Can Feel Like Betrayal — And How to Move Through It
When you say yes to keep the peace (but lose yourself)
Three months ago, I worked with a client with what many people might envy: a loving partner, a social circle, and a comfortable life in sunny Spain.
But that was only on the surface.
As a psychotherapist with over four years of experience using a CBT-based approach, I often work with people navigating invisible struggles: from anxiety and anger management to major life decisions and internal conflicts that don’t always have a name.
In this case, underneath all of it was a storm of guilt, self-doubt, and emotional burnout. It was driven by a quiet struggle with being an introvert in a loud world.
The question was how to reclaim his sense of self without becoming someone he wasn’t.
Guilt in disguise
Why do I feel so guilty when I say no to people I care about?
He had this clear question in mind when he came to me for help.
It wasn’t just a passing discomfort. It was a deep feeling that stuck with him whenever he:
- Turned down a social invitation
