How To Avoid The ‘Arrival Fallacy’ That Steals Your Joy
2 Strategies To Combat Black And White Thinking
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Big goals. Big dreams. You’re supposed to shoot for them. But as so many “greats” in the world will tell you, happiness after a huge accomplishment can be painfully fleeting. And part of this is because of the so-called arrival fallacy, which is basically the mistaken belief that, once you reach a certain milestone, you’ll have long-lasting access to joy.
The arrival fallacy is a common trap to fall into because of the intense cultural connections between tasks and physical or social security. But at its worst, the arrival fallacy is a lot like the scene in The Bee Movie where Barry the bee keeps bashing himself into the window to get out. No matter how many times you smack your face into the glass, you keep believing that the next time will be different and mean freedom for your heart, that even if the last achievement felt blah, the next one won’t.
From A Black And White Point To Beautiful, Interconnected Nuances
The arrival fallacy is point-focused. It hones in on a single moment in time and asks just one question — did you do the job? In this way, it is a prime example of black-and-white thinking, or what the American Psychological Association refers to as dichotomous thinking. This kind of “splitting” is actually an ego defense mechanism that helps you simply what’s happening so that events or circumstances make sense and don’t produce anxiety. But it is associated with perfectionism and mood disorders, including depression.
Avoiding the arrival fallacy and being happy overall thus requires you to see more nuances or shades of color. And practically speaking, that means honing in not on one task, but all of the moments up to and including that task. This is why so many happiness gurus tell people to pay attention to the journey. They understand that joy isn’t found in absolutes, but rather in all of the sophisticated interconnected elements of life and time.
Seeing all of these interconnections depends on the ability to constantly connect with and be mindful about how you are experiencing and growing in your present moment. And this doesn’t mean you have to leave quantification…
