How to Forgive Someone
A pearl of wisdom from a great book
Three years ago, while chatting with my friend, she told me, “When I met a nun, I shared my story where my sister betrayed me, and I couldn’t accept her betrayal. The nun told me to forgive her so that I can forgive myself. How is it possible to forgive her betrayal? It seems to be very hard.”
I agreed with her at that moment. How could someone forgive a betrayal or abuse? But the same case happened to my family this year, a betrayal and verbal abuse happened, and my parents and I couldn’t accept it at all. Usually, when something happens, I always search for answers from good books written by great authors such as Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra and other great authors as well.
This time, it seemed that I couldn’t find a solid answer for my question of “How to forgive someone’s betrayal or abuse?” Till I found a great answer from a great book written by a great author. Yes! Everything is great in this book. But I loved one in particular.
The book called “The Universe Always Has a Plan” by Matt Kahn has the answer. If you want to forgive someone, it doesn’t mean that you have to forgive their abuse or betrayal, you only have to shift your perspective.
Matt Kahn quoted:
“Forgiveness isn’t a matter of saying any betrayal, neglect, or abuse was deserving, It’s a matter of acknowledging that those who have made an indelible impression upon your history have only set you in a direction toward the arrival of your highest destiny.”
~end quote
It’s all about perspective. Think a moment. When you encounter a life situation where someone abused or betrayed you. I know it is unacceptable but sometimes they will shape you into higher consciousness. We can take activists and leaders as an example. Malala Yousafzai, Yeonmi Park, Nelson Mandela, etc. They encountered abuse, betrayals, violence, discrimination, and the list went on. But, they are strong and known to this world today because of their maturity and awareness that were born through suffering.
So, the key to forgiveness is to change your perspective. Don’t worry. Forgive them first. You will thank them later for how they acted as a fertilizer for you to grow strong and aware of life. Take a moment, be an observer and imagine if your life situation was different. Let say, if no one hurt you, you probably wouldn’t be aware of the life. Life is a butterfly effect. Everything happens for a good reason. It seems to be bad now but trust me, it is surely for a tremendous great reason. No one in this world is abandoned. Everyone is being loved. So, forgiveness is equivalent to thankfulness. Be grateful for their act upon you. After all, life is just a play of consciousness where each of us just needs to enjoy the flow of life. You will sooner realize that everything happens only for good reason.
Thanks for reading!
