How We Hold Ourselves Back
Elon Musk said we’re all victims of this
I was an unwitting victim of what Elon Musk called “wishful thinking” which is why this article has a somewhat clickbait title.
You see, for all the years I’ve written on Medium, I figured that if an article good was enough article, if it contained real value, the headline didn’t matter.
It does. Very yes, it does.
Wishful thinking had me believing value speaks for itself.
Nope.
We’re in an attention economy and if you want your words to be read, you’ve got to play the game.
As Steven Pressfield said “No one wants to read your shit.” You got to persuade them.
There’s no point hoping and wishing it’s different. It’s not.
You must face reality. Stare it in the eyes. Accept it for all its ugliness and inconvenience.
So what exactly was it that Elon said? Well, it was this:
“One of the biggest mistakes people generally make, and I’m guilty of it too, is wishful thinking… You want something to be true, even if it isn’t true. You ignore the real truth because of what you want to be true. This is a very difficult trap to avoid.”
To be able to look reality square in the face means you’re then able to plan and act effectively.
If you’re deluding yourself, your plans will be nonsense, your goals unattainable, and your life a fucking mess.
Ask yourself the hard questions:
Are you an addict? Do you love your partner? Are you desirable? Do you have the earning potential to own the house or car you dream of? And if not, what are you going to do about it?
Reality is a wicked mistress. Einstein said that. Possibly. But it is. Because we all want to believe we’re smarter, sexier and savvier than the average Joe (or Joanne). But of course, we can’t all be. That’s not how averages work.
Wishful thinking is probably holding you back more than anything else in this world.
I saw this in the music world so much. I played a lot of crappy music in a lot of crappy bands over two decades, and boy oh boy, all anyone talked about was getting signed, getting noticed by a big (or small) label, and getting whisked away to fame, fortune and touring on the dime of some starry-eyed executive.
Except no one wanted to work to get there. No one said “We suck and we gotta work our arses off to get better.”
Not a single one.
Everyone just kind of hoped it would happen.
It was an attitude of let’s put a band together, write some OK tunes, bung them online and cross our fingers someone stumbles across them with a blank chequebook and a lack of taste.
It was bullshit; like waiting for a lottery win.
Fuck wishful thinking.
Realist thinking is where it’s at. It’s good to have faith, and hope, but it must be met with action.
God won’t answer your prayers if you’re just sitting around asking for things. You have to show the universe and everyone in it how much you deserve the rewards you seek.
So, let’s be honest. What are those rewards? A hot girlfriend? A killer physique? A super car? A Manson? A million dollar business?
And do you deserve them?
What are you doing to get those things? What is the shortfall between you and those goals?
If you refuse to see that shortfall honestly and truthfully, you’ll never be able to cross it. Your map will be wrong. Your map needs to be as close to the territory as possible, else it’s worthless. Worse than that, in fact, it could be outright damaging.
You cannot think wishfully and have an accurate map.
And you will never, ever get the great rewards in life if you don’t deserve them. It doesn’t work like that. It’s why lottery winners cannot keep hold of their winnings. It’s why it slips through their undeserving fingers. Karma balances out. Mentality creates the life it deserves. The universe’s checks and balances will ensure your thoughts and actions will match your worldly rewards.
So wise up, and face reality. Admit your weaknesses so you can address them.
If a high agency person like Elon Musk can fall in the trap of wishful thinking, then you and I can too. It’s a trap, but that doesn’t mean you have to walk into it.
