Member-only story
How Your Habit of Fantasising Is Harming Your Ability to Hold and Sustain Love
Fantasy Feels Good But Risks Distoring Love
It feels good to think about how someone might one day choose you, how they could love you, or how things might finally make sense.
Couple this with the fact that our brain responds similarly to what is imagined and what is real and our fantasies can become potent spaces for generating pleasant feelings.
As a teenager, I’d spend hours lost in daydream as a form of escape.
In fantasy, I could be loved the way I didn’t love myself.
But as is the case with all adaptive strategies we learn as kids, they become maladaptive in adulthood.
I wanted to talk about how fantasising love can cause us problems.
Whether we fantasise excessively as a teenager or kid or find ourselves lost in fantasy today, it will impact our view of love and our ability to hold it.
Here are 3 ways fantasy can impact our view of love:
1. Idealistic Love
When you fantasise about love you run the risk of embedding an unrealistic and idealistic view of what love should be.
