I Stopped Meditating
A journal entry about how things went downhill without meditation
I haven’t meditated for over a month now. Life got in the way, although that’s no excuse. I slacked off, and I moved house two weeks ago. My routine has gone out the window, I’m adjusting to living with my partner and having a new home. I have been using my phone a lot more than usual in the mornings, checking emails etc. I have definitely noticed that my mind is a lot of hyped up than it was when I was meditating daily.
What I noticed within myself when I stopped meditating
- More mental chatter than usual
- Drifting off in thought, zero awareness of where my thoughts were taking me
- Way more reactive to things / people around me
- An unsettled feeling
- Overthinking things unnecessarily
- Lack of attention span, bored easily
- Wanting to use my phone more often
How I felt and things I experienced when I was meditating daily
- Relaxed and calm
- Ability to remember to practice mindfulness techniques often
- Not very reactive to situations and people
- Increased intuition!
- Clarity around my goals
- When I’d wake up, my mind was blank and I was able to actively choose what thoughts I could think
- A clear mind
Starting from scratch
I am pretty much starting from scratch again, which is fine. Sometimes you fall and then you just need to get back up. I was hard on myself, feeling like I’d be shunned from the meditation community. But I will just try again!
My goals are:
- Meditate for 5 minutes each morning, and build up my attention span again to 10 and so forth
- Journal daily (this practice also went out the window during the house move!)
- Visualise my day or goals in the morning after meditating
- Feel the essence of already having achieved my goals
- Do mindfulness techniques throughout the day
Daily meditation without practising mindfulness techniques through the day is useless.
Moving house was a big deal
I didn’t realise that moving house would be such a big deal, it has turned my life upside down — as excited as I was about having a new home. It’s been a positive change, with some challenges along the way. I have no routine at home (other than going to work) and my travel time to work is now about 45 minutes (which is 25 more than my old commute). I hope to get into a more settled routine again soon, one which involves meditation.
My take home message is… Don’t give up completely on meditation when things get unsettled. Just try again!
Thanks for reading.