If You Worry That You’re Not in Control, You’re Right

Do you fall for the illusion of control?

Elaine Hilides
Change Your Mind Change Your Life

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Person standing of stack of plates
Photo by Igor Omilaev on Unsplash

Years ago, I thought things should be how I believed they should be. I was forever trying to squash squishy bodies into the shape I decided they should be. Square pegs and all that.

I remember calling my teenage daughter when she was out with friends and screaming at her to come home and redo a task I’d asked of her. I’d asked her to hang out washing while I was at work, and it wasn’t done as I thought it should be. Mind you, she had draped a jumper over a standard lampshade, so I was mad but not entirely crazy.

I didn’t see that my need to control was because my life felt out of control.

Years later, I assisted in personal development training. One of my jobs was to bring everyone back from a break, ready for the next session.

No sooner had I shepherded one group towards the room than one of them broke away to have a last word with a friend, and I’d have to double back to round that one up and the people they were talking to.

It was like herding cats.

And it felt like a metaphor for life: when you try to control one area, another area slips out of your control, and you rush around trying to make the pieces fit.

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Elaine Hilides
Change Your Mind Change Your Life

I can help you go from anxious to peaceful. Wellbeing coach for over a decade. Author, and International speaker, lives by the sea. elainehilides.com