Independent Thinking
A man who does not think for himself does not think at all- Oscar Wilde
How many times have you done something just because someone told you to or just because everyone else was doing it? Well, I have countless times. There are occasions I did stuff and then later on I wondered why I just didn’t go with what I was feeling deep in my soul. There are so many situations I would have avoided if I had just practiced the freedom of choice.
Independent thinking is the possession of one’s own set of views and ideals that govern one’s decisions. If you don’t think for yourself, trust me, others will. If you can’t assess situations for yourself and make decisions that aren’t swayed by outside factors, you’re probably playing in a danger zone.
One of the major struggles of teenagerhood is this. If there’s a thing that I have had to wrestle with is being an independent thinker at my age. The pressures of young adulthood are not to be underestimated😄. When I see grown people pointing fingers at us, I usually wonder, weren’t you a teenager once? Did you make any better choices than us? I’m pretty sure there were days you went with the wind and did things just because everyone else was, without much thought.
Perhaps it’s simply a matter of not being self-aware. Everyone has experienced it. I have a lot of dislike for people who try to control other’s choices. Like she just said she ain’t doing it, move it along. There is a serious problem when someone must express their disinterest in doing anything to you more than twice before you stop pressing.
“Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds!” ~ Bob Marley
Folks talk a lot about respecting boundaries, how about, respecting choices, is it part of it? Personally, I believe that once I have explained something twice that’s enough, make whatever decision you want to. And that’s why I probably wouldn’t make a good marketing or salesperson 😂. Like sir do you wanna buy the soap or not? I need to go😏. And I don’t have to hate you or block you out of my life just because you made a choice that I don’t agree with.
What I’ve seen about the mind is that the more you try to persuade it to agree with something, the more it forms opposing beliefs. The more you try to convince others that something is beneficial, the more skeptical they become. It’s better to let them realize things on their own. We must give others space to make their own decisions and think for themselves rather than imposing our viewpoints on everyone.
The other day I was at a place buying shoes. I got into the shop and as usual, sat down and the seller started bringing option after option. I sat there trying all of them on one by one. For over 45 minutes!! I didn’t like any of them and to add that I was on a budget so I wasn’t gonna spend money on something I didn’t like.
After a while of going through all the options for my size, he told me to just pick one and go with it. Deep down in my heart, I felt bad coz I’d made him do all this work and then now I walk away without buying anything? That’s bad. But I didn’t get a shoe that I wanted to buy!! So eventually I decided to just tip him for being so nice that whole time but not buy anything.
Independent thinking starts with us being confident in our own skin. That’s the only way we’re able to stand up to people and say no to what doesn’t align with our belief systems. We can only exercise freedom of choice if we actually think for ourselves. My first responsibility is to myself. I can’t treat you any better than I do to myself. How will you appreciate other people’s opinions if you ain’t got any of yourself? How can we respect other’s choices if we don’t make any ourselves?
One of the things I’ve learned the hard way is not trying to fit in. Anywhere I don’t belong I don’t go, simple. I’m not interested in being liked or being understood. My actions speak for themselves. I strongly believe that the choices I’m making right now will bear fruits in the latter days. You reap what you sow. I wanna live my life, not someone else’s, and that requires independent thinking.
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment- Ralph Waldo Emerson
