Learn to Detach or Continue to Succumb to Your Life

Win the battle within before you lose the battle without

Photo by mahdi chaghari on Unsplash

We all succumb a little to life at times

All it takes are a few wrong interactions and we get caught up in our heads, placing blame, being reactive and becoming all sorts of unreasonable. Yeah, it’s an exhausting experience — not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too because the battle within and the battle without work together to deal much greater damage onto us, more so if we’re losing the battle within.

The battle within though is often more familiar than the one without. We know the battle within because it’s ours — it’s our insecurities, our weaknesses and our fears working together. The fuel for this fire may be different, but it’s the same fire. The battle without may awaken it, but what it becomes after is something we decide.

And if we ever wish to regain some power over the battles we face without, we will find it in our battle within, we will find it in how we face ourselves. So, it is safe to say that the only thing standing in our way is ourselves — how we face our insecurities, weaknesses and fears especially when they’re triggered will decide whether we succumb to or overcome our battles.

And from personal experience, something that helps a lot is Detachment

If you think about it, when we’re triggered, our fight, flight or freeze instincts kick in and depending on how we feel on that day and at that moment, we choose any of these. But how can we be sure of what’s right? How can we know that our decision isn’t based solely on the battle we’re losing within? How can we be sure we’re being reasonable?

That’s a tough one because each situation is unique and there are no steps we can follow to guarantee us the best way forward. But what’s often quite helpful in each situation is looking at it from an outsider’s perspective, a birds-eye view, which helps us find an impartial perspective — this is what detachment is.

It helps to temporarily let go of everything tying us down to a situation, the fears, the doubts, the insecurities. It helps us step outside our bubble to take a moment to see what’s really going on, to understand and see the best way forward for everyone before returning to ourselves.

And when we return from this hiatus, we are no longer the same

The situation or moment we face may be the same, but our perspective of it changes. Instead of confusion, partial understandings and emotional outbursts, we find a sense of composure. We become considerate and understanding because we not only see the battle we face within, but we also see the ones faced by others. We go beyond our nose to be less ignorant than we were.

This is important because now we can tailor our approach to lead the moment in a better direction, a place where there’s understanding and constructive behaviors around us. If criticism needs to be given, we can give and receive it constructively. If someone is unreasonable, we can be patient with them. If we lose our composure, we can regain it before it is too late.

It takes some practice, but this investment in yourself will pay off

As you practice, you will see that instead of being swayed by emotion-driven or fear-driven thoughts, you will find yourself driven by reason. This in no way means you should ignore and reject your emotions and fears — such a thing will only hurt you in the long term — it means you should accept them so that what you say and do can be less ignorant and more authentic.

Because there’s a line with detachment, a very fine line

On the extreme end, you could use detachment as a coping mechanism to run away from reality instead of facing it, which may only leave you inconsiderate towards others and leave you more ignorant than you should be. I guess that’s why they say too much of anything is never good. So be aware of yourself and know that detachment is used to help you face reality, not run away from it.

If we are responsible for this power, it can help us see what’s really going on in our lives and take care of ourselves through every moment

It will save you from being influenced by others, from being manipulated by others. It will help you watch over yourself and be cautious. It will help you be aware of what’s influencing you and stop yourself from being manipulated by those who consciously and subconsciously do it.

Detachment will help you face your battles because everything you say and do will stem from your own desire, from your own conviction, not the ones imposed on you — you will be able to choose your own way.

So the next time you feel yourself falling deeper into some moment, detach and see what’s really going on before going any further.

How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.” — Rupi Kaur

Invest In Your Existence, Kind Reader,

René

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René Chunilall

René Chunilall

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Sharing the lessons I learn on my journey towards self-mastery | I post videos on Instagram too: https://instagram.com/omni_rene