Mar 9, 2021
Life on the Peripheral — I’m Standing Right Here!
How I embraced circling normal.
As someone who has spent her entire life on the peripheral, I know all about being a square peg in a round hole. As a beauteous, shy young woman who desperately wanted to fit in, I would never have thought to say anything that ran contrary to popular opinion.
If I kept my mouth shut, faked ‘normal’, smiled alluringly, and just stood there being impartial, I would not be in danger of committing attractive suicide. But in the back of my mind, I knew I was tilting oh so slightly on the normalcy scale. At the time, I just didn’t realize that was actually a gift and not an obstacle to overcome.
As time passed, my struggle with self-image continued into middle age and I sought out someone to emulate. If my life story were to be made into a movie, who would I want to play me? The elegant Jane Seymour or the quirky Ellen Barkin?
Mrs. Perfect in Every Way
You know who she is. The woman who always gets voted to chair the committee, the one most admired for her skills at — well, everything! Women clamor around her hoping her wonderfulness might rub off on them or, dare I say, be invited into her inner circle of BFFs.
You just know if you knocked on her door at 2 a.m., she would greet you as if expecting company: hair stylishly messy, designer housecoat with matching glass slippers, benevolent, honey-sweet words greeting you from her well-defined cupid’s bow lips.
She was Olivia de Havilland to my Bette Davis. Catch me at 2 a.m. and you would be greeted by a disheveled Marilyn Manson. She is the one everyone says, “She’s just so nice. Let’s make her our leader.” I hated her yet wanted to be just like her.
Ms. Who Do You Think You’re Messing With
Many years ago, I watched an interview with the brilliant, award-winning British actress (achieving the coveted Triple Crown of Acting) and former Labour Party politician Glenda Jackson. I saw her in the movie A Touch of Class and sort of kept an eye on her career after that.
This bold as brass woman was asked by a foolish reporter if she was worried about her impending 65th birthday. To paraphrase Glenda, her response was pricelessly wicked —
I’m looking forward to it! I will climb aboard my local bus and demand those wankers remove their posteriors from the seats marked for seniors so I can sit down.
Now that’s a woman to be reckoned with! She too was a woman I aspired to be.
But, of course, it’s just not that easy. Glenda, after all, is Glenda Jackson. She doesn’t care what others think of her. She is rich, famous, talented and courageous. I too wanted to be a brave, outspoken woman, but at the same time craved the love of my peers, i.e., Mrs. Perfect in Every Way.
The Transformation Courtesy of Age
As the years passed and I found myself being shuffled to the back of the room, physical beauty no longer keeping me front and centre, something magical happened. I noticed a woman pushing forward through the crowd, someone who seemed to have found her spirit ignited by her realization that running contrary to the norm was something to be celebrated, not denied. Age be damned! She wasn’t old and unimportant. Her destiny all along had been for her petals to open in the autumn of her life.
Was she Glenda Jackson, or perhaps Ellen Barken? She was like no one I’d ever met before. But of course, I couldn’t have — I was meeting myself in full bloom for the first time.
In being pushed backward, I had found the strength to push forward. It was my turn to be the person I always wanted to be or suffer the fate of fading into the crowd of “should haves” or “if onlys.” I was becoming a woman of substance and would no longer go quietly into that good night!
As the clock ticked past 60, blessed with an abundance of energy and good health, I was fortunate to have finally realized I didn’t want to be normal. I had fallen in love with this fearless, eclectic, outrageous woman who could no longer be intimidated by being the nay in a room of yeas. I had found my Glenda Jackson and I was just beginning!
Orbiting “normal” and loving it!
As we age, hopefully our life experiences make us more interesting, compassionate, and introspective characters. One of my many quirks is being an introverted woman masquerading as an extroverted businesswoman. My over-the-hill friends look upon me in horror as I declare that if any grandchild of mine what’s to hang around with me, they better practice their caddying skills and bring their own beer.
Remember — you are writing the book of you so make it a good one. Be willing to accept change and snatch every opportunity no matter your age. Never be envious of someone else’s life. Be joyful, fearless, provocative, controversial, grateful, and willing to laugh at yourself and our increasingly crazy world. Write a bestseller!
FEEL FREE to follow me on my journey of eternal youth! College student, travel consultant, blogger, aspiring author, and entrepreneur, all after my 50th birthday. Late Bloomer aging backward and living life on my terms — fearless, exciting, and eclectic. You can visit me at my websites wendyrichards.ca and FortunateFewTravel.ca.
