Money Struggles? You May Need to Become a Different Person
What you do, think, and how you feel may be the problem
If I was an aggressive, all in your face, finance educator, I’d tell you that you’re stupid, making repeated silly mistakes, and not learning… blah blah blah.
But, I’m not.
I rather despise this approach. It makes my stomach churn as I see those in receipt of this messaging in pain! I find that this messaging only exasperates the negative state someone may already be in.
Money struggles
No matter your physical location, status or wealth, I bet that you’ve either had a financial problem yourself or know someone who has. (Please do tell me if I’m wrong!)
Money problems arise from not just being silly, but also losing a partner and struggling to maintain the home alone, being a victim of fraud, not being prepared for the costs after the death of a family member… I could continue.
You may have too much debt and are stuck in a loop unable to get out, living payday to payday, struggling to deal with an unexpected bill, trying to save a struggling business and using all your personal savings…
The hidden reasons for your struggles
“Sometimes the root cause of the financial struggle is internal”.
The above are surface money issues. Sometimes the root cause of the financial struggle is internal. For example, the choice you make between paying off this month’s credit card in full and maxing out your credit card to pay for the boys’ trip to Croatia — is nothing to do with poor money management.
Saying it is, would be a lazy explanation.
Read the following 3 sentences slowly.
The decisions you make, about anything, are influenced by how you feel about the factors it includes. (for example, the decision to buy a Mercedes or Ford car is influenced by how important social status is to you).
What you feel about those factors is influenced by what you think about them.
What you think about them, is a result of what you believe about them.
Pause, and process that for a moment.
I appreciate this may be a new, rather mind-boggling concept for many, but it’s an important one.
Your financial decisions in short:
Action taken > What you feel > What you think > What you believe
(>, means “is based on”)
You may have heard the phrase “Your thoughts become things”.
There are many other influencing factors such as religion, friends and family, messaging from the media and so on. I am sure you could write your own list!
A different you
If we start at the root, the beliefs you have about money, directly affect the action you take in regards to your money.
“You are likely just acting out the beliefs you have about your intelligence, self-worth, or similar”.
When you decide to spend £3,095 on the trip to Croatia instead of paying to replace the mattress that is causing you severe back problems. Or you do not set up the automated transfer to your savings account on payday + 1, and instead, complain that you never have enough money- you are likely just acting out the beliefs you have about your intelligence, self-worth, or similar.
Beliefs are ingrained within your subconscious and unlikely to change for the better without conscious assistance! Your brain is lazy and will always opt for the easy route — here, doing what it has always done.
“To form a new you, you must self-reflect and identify the limiting beliefs that are restricting you”.
A gentle introduction to forming a new you
A new ‘you’ may sound harsh and offensive, but this would only be the case if you have a fixed mindset instead of a growth mindset.
Growth mindset = you believe abilities can be developed and strengthened over time, with hard work and commitment.
(A fixed mindset is the opposite; you believe you’re born with fixed unchangeable abilities.)
To form a new you, you must self-reflect and identify the limiting beliefs that are restricting you. Below are steps to start the process of identifying limiting beliefs and building a good financial decision making you.
Step 1
Tell yourself that you’re a wonderful beautiful being and capable of anything you set your mind to. Say it out loud in the mirror.
Step 2
Commit to following through on the journey of making improvements to the amazing you that already exists. Write it down on paper!
Step 3
Spend time looking at the life you have and thinking about the life you want. Identify 3 big desires. Get very clear on what they are, how they look, how you will feel once you have it, and write them down.
Step 4
Take an audit of your financial thoughts and feelings. Grab a pen and paper and note down the money habits you have. Write down what you think and feel about money. Think about where you learned the money ideas you have. Was it from a parent, guardian, school, or partner?
Step 5
You’ll need to identify the thoughts and beliefs that are hindering you. Which are stopping you from saving, causing you not to invest, and lend too much. Which are stopping you from achieving what you dream of?
Step 6
Finally, you’ll need to create opposing truths. These will become your new prompts. When you are having a negative thought, feeling or almost acting out your hindering money habit — stop and remind yourself of your opposing truth.
This will form the start of your money journey to better financial decisions and fewer money struggles. You will encounter fear, but I invite you to push through. Bring a friend on the journey for the support!
To recap:
- Money struggles impact us all in some way.
- Money decisions are influenced by your feelings, thoughts and beliefs.
- Develop a growth mindset.
- Commit to the process of identifying the limiting beliefs influencing your decision making.
About the author
Krystle McGilvery is a qualified Chartered Accountant who nudges founders and individuals to build financial confidence so they can achieve their goals. She uses behavioural finance to support her in coaching and consulting. Krystle is based in London, UK, and is a mature student at Warwick University. She loves yoga, dancing, and creating fine art.
Connect with her on Twitter , LinkedIn, Instagram, or email krystle@krystlemcgilvery.com.
