10 Things That Happen When You Become Unapologetically Yourself

And how you can do the same

Photo by Candice Picard on Unsplash

People-pleasing is something most people struggle in their lives, it’s a human trait we all share.

Some people seek approval through people-pleasing, while others just like pleasing people.

It’s part of the human condition, we are social creatures. We want to be liked by everyone. No-one likes the feeling of being disliked, being rejected doesn’t feel well. I struggled with people-pleasing for a long time, I tried everything to make sure that everyone liked me.

But the thing is, it’s impossible to be liked by everyone, it’s a terrible mindset to have.

As part of always pleasing people, I also cared about what other people think of me, not what I think of me. You cannot give other people that kind of power over you.

One morning about seven months ago I woke up and just decided to try an experiment. What would happen if I stopped caring about what other people think about me?

After a couple of months, I noticed some things about myself.

I became happier, more excited about my life, less worried about the things I couldn’t control, more patient with other people and came to the realisation that living your life for other people was a waste of time.

You are only given a limited time on this planet, anything to you or the people that you love.

Why waste time caring about what others think, it’s your life, not anyone else.

Here’s are the ten reasons why your life gets better the day you stop caring about what other people think.

1. You become braver.

When you don’t have the fear of what other people may think of your choices, you start to take more risks.

You become resilient and make bolder decisions because people and their opinions are not holding you back anymore. You stop letting your inner critic guide you and become more comfortable in your own skin.

You just do what you feel like doing with no reservations.

2. You start living life according to your own rules

You no longer let other people’s opinions dictate your life and decisions. The small things stop affecting you.

You fill your life with more activities and adventures that resemble you; not your friends, not your family, and definitely not society. Letting go of who others want you to be.

Your life becomes more a reflection of who you are truly instead of conforming to be someone you’re not.

3. You realize how toxic people can be.

It’s fascinating to realize how people’s opinions and voices distort the voices in your head.

Tricking you into believing something you don’t agree with or not really feeling or into. You realize that people can truly shape you into someone you don’t want to be if you pay too much attention to what others say.

You have to make your own decisions, can’t let other people’s voices be bigger than your own.

4. You attract the right people for you.

When you begin to focus on growing and doing what’s good for you, you become more comfortable being yourself.

You attract friends who support your decisions without judging you and friends who probably don’t care about fitting in either. They are happy being themselves.

You start building better, deeper, and more meaningful relationships with people who actually understand and accept you.

5. You no longer try to impress others, you just want to impress yourself.

You feel happier and more fulfilled that you’re not looking for someone’s approval or validation.

You learn to validate yourself, everything is internal. You want to become the best version of yourself for you, not other people. You stop waiting for someone to give you a pat on the back for doing things right.

And most importantly, you stop waiting for people to make you feel like you matter or that you are important.

6. You have a better chance of succeeding.

When you take risks and live a life that you enjoy and love, your possibilities and opportunities are endless.

You’ll have a better chance of finding success as a result of putting yourself out there, worrying less about what you cannot control. Do the best that you can and live with the results.

When you focus on pursuing something you actually want or love, you begin to live a more passionate life.

Eventually, that passion will pay off and you’ll turn into a lifestyle.

7. It becomes harder for people to bring you down.

As you become more focused on yourself, the small things don’t bother you anymore.

You don’t care if someone doesn’t like your clothes or criticize the way you live your life. They are entitled to their opinions, doesn’t mean you can take or listen to it.

Words don’t get to you as much as they used to and the naysayers don’t bring you down anymore because you’re not listening.

8. It is liberating.

When you take the weight of people and their opinions off your shoulder, you begin to live your life differently.

You don’t feel bad about your choices (even the poor ones), and you don’t care about keeping up appearances or being politically correct. You start making your own decisions without consulting a bunch of people first.

You worry less about what other people think about you, remembering that it’s none of your business.

9. You start changing your life.

You start finding your passion and pursuing your dreams instead of staying stuck in the comfort zone of people and society.

You realise that no one is coming to save you, you got to where you are because of your choices, beliefs and actions. You cannot blame other people, it’s your life.

You become an explorer and a wanderer. You transform your life the day you decide to stop paying attention to what people think or what they might say.

It’s your life, not theirs.

10. You realize that they don’t care either.

At the end of the day, you realize that people actually don’t care about your life as much as you think.

Everyone is busy living their own lives to monitor yours and sometimes their harsh opinions are nothing but another conversation to them. You have to always know the difference between the ones who truly care about your life and the ones who pretend to be interested in it.

Final Thoughts

Life is stressful enough without having to care about what other people may think about you.

The matter of fact is most people are too busy worrying about what other people think of them to think about you. That’s the paradox, worrying about what people think is a waste of time and energy.

Make a decision to not give people the power to dictate your emotions, beliefs, thoughts, or decisions. It’s your life.



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Pach Deng

Pach Deng


Exploring the intersection of resilience, fulfillment, and self-actualisation: https://linktr.ee/pachdeng