The Best Self-Love Treatment
Betrayal is an ugly word. It’s a dirty deed that conjures up enough hurtful emotions that could keep us seething with anger for decades if we let it. To heal, we eventually forgive. Forgiveness is given after time has passed or apologies have been offered and the anger has thawed. We move on.
But there is someone who needs your love and forgiveness more than anyone else on earth. Someone who needs your patience. Your compassion. That someone is you.
“Forgiveness is really a gift to yourself — have the compassion to forgive others, and the courage to forgive yourself.” — Mary Anne Radmacher
Let Go of the Past
Mistakes happen. I kept a databank of cringe-worthy moments stored in my mind that I yearned to delete. I should have said this. I should have done that. I wish I hadn’t gone there.
There are embarrassing moments that I have replayed in my mind year after year. Finally I have come to realise that the people involved are no longer thinking about me or the moment that I embarrassed myself ten years ago. So why should I dwell on it? It happened, I survived. Life goes on.
I learned to stop obsessing over past mistakes. I realized the most important person that I will ever have to forgive is myself. I had to cut myself some slack. Yes, I felt bad about my mistakes. That meant I cared. That showed that I am only human. So there must be a good person residing somewhere in my hardened shell of failures.
You deserve the best.
I finally asked the question. Why do you deny yourself the best you have to offer? Just like many, I go above and beyond for others. Bosses, kids, partners, and friends. I give them the best that I’ve got. Yet, when it came time to take care of my own needs, I lowered the standards. Not realizing at the time that I deserve the best as well.
At work, I did my part to make tasks easier for others while carrying a heavy load. I did things at home to take the burden off my partner while I collapsed at night, exhausted from stress.
When expecting visitors, I make sure my home sparkles. I put out the best towels and use the good china. Then it finally hit me. Hey, I deserve to eat from the good china every day.
Take care of yourself
It’s important to feel beautiful. Carve out time for some pampering. I realized I don’t have to go to a fancy spa to be pampered. A long soak in a steamy bubble bath can do the trick.
I quit neglecting my basic needs. I started getting the proper amount of sleep and nourishing my mind and body with healthy food. I exercise. I learned that attending to my basic needs is the ultimate sign of self-love.
Declutter Your environment
I took stock of what was hindering me in my life. Did I need to distance myself from toxic people? Did I need to organize a closet? I learned that I had to clear my life of people and things that were causing me more strife than peace. I strived to surround myself with people and things that added to the quality and peace in my life.
I have a wonderful friend that I had to distance myself from because she is like a tornado. When she comes around everything whizzes about in total chaos. She comes in loud and unleashes some crisis or another. Then she leaves and things are strewn about, even some of her things, and my mind is left throbbing, buried underneath the weight of all her problems. It is best to limit communication with people like this.
I learned that you must love yourself first. Self-love breeds confidence and the strength to teach people how to treat you. The standards that I set for myself should embody the best of me that I have to offer. I realized that when I am in love with myself it shows. That self-love raises the standards for how others see me and treat me. I learned the secret to the best self-love. Love you because you’re you.