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The Final Goal of Self Improvement Has Nothing to Do With The Self

How to not become a self absorbed jerk.

Hello dear readers!

Clearly the Change Your Mind-Change Your Life publication falls into the Self Improvement category. And, you’re a reader here, so I’ll guess self improvement interests you too.

I’m a big fan of self discovery, self improvement, and personal growth, but with some boundaries. The final goal of self improvement has nothing to do with the self.

The final goal of self improvement has nothing to do with the self.

Keep reading, or watch the video here.

A video thumbnail of the author, Christine Bradstreet, sitting on the ground with her dog. They each have a thought bubble with text above their heads. The text reads, “The final goal of self improvement has nothing to do with the self. How to not become a self absorbed jerk.”
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Self improvement begins as an inner focused journey. That makes sense. Something inside is hurting, or life just isn’t working, and you begin a path of self help to try to put the pieces together or make things feel better.

The goal of self help is usually to have more of something. More confidence, more inner peace, more happiness, more financial success or material possessions, or a fitter and more beautiful body. With curiosity and desire, or sometimes even with despair, you seek to add the missing pieces to your self.

I read my first self help book, The Road Less Traveled, at age 17, and I was hooked. I’m not sure what I was looking for, but it simply felt good as I read it. I’ve read dozens more spiritual and self help type books over my life.

I’m not bashing self help, I actually wrote a book myself that would fall into the self help genre (called Happy Ever After-The Guide for Lifelong Happiness). What I’m talking about here is getting stuck in the early phases of self help.

A black and white photo showing the profile of a woman’s face. She has dark hair and her eyes are closed.
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Don’t become your own passion project.

Yes when you’re new to self help, you do need to focus on yourself. It’s a very personal and inward looking practice. To foster new habits, you break connections with the old. You might stop doing unhealthy things that used to give you a sense of connection with other people. You may even cut some people out of your life.

At some point on the self help road though, you’re going to realize you’ve made yourself your passion project. You can get that icky feeling you get after doing anything that’s excessive and self indulgent.

That’s a good sign because it means it’s time to focus your energies outward.

The final step of self help is focusing on others.

Take that curiosity and energy for self discovery, pair it with your natural gifts and talents, and point it all outward.

Don’t wait until you have it all figured out to do this. If you’re here reading this, you’re ready now. Your self will continue to grow and expand, but don’t have that as your sole focus any longer. You always have a gift you can give.

You have a purpose, and that purpose isn’t you. Your purpose is a gift the world needs.


Christine Bradstreet
Editor at Change Your Mind-Change Your Life

Get my book Happy Ever After. It’s a book about growing genuine and lifelong happiness, the type of happiness that can’t be taken away from you no matter what sort of craziness is happening in the world. We can all use that right now.

I made a free 5-day email course so you can Master Happiness, and I want to share it with you! Visit me at where you can get your course for free.



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Dr. Christine Bradstreet

Dr. Christine Bradstreet

I help Type A’s find their Zen. Editor of Change Your Mind Change Your Life. I wrote a book to help you be happy. Get yours at