The Most Important Thing My Dad Did for Me
Now my past failures drive today’s success
I didn’t make the team.
I had given my all for three consecutive days, yet on that last day of tryouts my name wasn’t on the roster.
I was devastated.
It was my first year of junior high, and I was so excited to represent my school’s basketball team. To add insult to injury, the girl I had a crush on started making fun of me for not making the team. It was a low point.
My dad could tell it upset me. I had been playing basketball for three years on a travel team, yet I couldn’t make the school’s team.
He knew how badly I wanted to make the team next year and asked me to trust him. I had no clue what he had in mind.
He signed me up for a new basketball league. It was one I’d never heard of before in a completely different part of town. I had no idea what to expect, but promised myself I would go in with a positive mindset.
On my first day, I quickly realized I was the only white kid in the gym. It didn’t bother me, but I definitely stuck out. Plus, my teammates already knew each other from school and were friends. I was already feeling down about my basketball abilities and now having to navigate a new social environment as an awkward 7th grader didn’t make me feel much better.
There was a kid on my team, James, who was the best basketball player I’ve played with. He was my height, so I guarded him the entire time first practice.
He destroyed me, basically scoring at will.
It was safe to say I left that first practice feeling even more defeated about my basketball skills.
Thankfully, my dad encouraged me to stick with it.
I began to adapt to the skill of the players around me and found an area that I could excel in that most players were lacking… rebounding.
There is nothing flashy about rebounding the ball. All kids care about is shooting and scoring points. So when someone shot the basketball, everyone would ease up, providing me the perfect opportunity to run in and get an offensive rebound. By getting rebounds, I scored almost 10 points a game without having to shoot any further than 5 feet away from the hoop.
All my playing time was because of my ability to play defense and rebound. I improved rapidly and became a starter for our team. I was never the best player, but was a much bigger contributor compared to the beginning of the year.
The following year I tried out for my 8th grade team with all the same classmates who had played on the school team the year prior. Tryouts were again three days long, but a little different this time. On the last day, the head coach told me to sit out.
The memory of being cut the year prior flooded my brain, and I was heartbroken, assuming I did not make the team since I was sitting out the entire last day. Then the coach said, “Don’t worry, you are for sure on the team so I want you to sit out so I can see some other players’ skills.”
Thank you, dad.
15 Years Later
Seventh grade was a long time ago. I have now finished graduate school and have been working full time for almost two years. This story has repeatedly popped in my head this year and has taught me a lot during 2020. I realized what my dad did for me then carries over into what I can do in my life now. That past experience has taught me two important lessons.
Lesson 1: It is better to be the worst player on the best team than the best player on the worst team
Right now in my life, I’m reaching a middle ground. I have been working for a couple of years, so I am confident in my skills as a clinician versus when I first started work. This creates the temptation to coast through work.
I’ve been working as a travel physical therapist, which pays well and makes it easy to coast if desired as I move from company to company every couple of months. Along the way, I tried to learn at least one thing from each coworker I met, but always sensed something was missing. I realized I did not have anyone to challenge me. All my bosses cared about was how many patients I see. No one was challenging my clinical skills.
I was recently offered a job from an owner with an incredible skill-set. He has gone back and earned additional certificates that require passing difficult exams. The dilemma is the job comes with a significant pay cut compared to travel physical therapy. During my decision on whether to take the job, my seventh-grade story played a key role in my decision making.
I realize I could continue being the best player on the worst team, or I take the pay cut and practice with players on a better team. I did the latter.
Honestly, it has been frustrating so far. I run into patients that would rather work with my boss because he is a “more experienced physical therapist”. This leads to constant self-doubt and wondering if I am a good clinician. I look back at my experience of joining that league where everyone was much better than I was and find comfort.
I will get better, my skill-set will improve, and ultimately I and my patients will benefit from it in the long run.
Lesson 2: Skill is important but skill without effort is useless
Like I mentioned earlier, I was a terrible shooter and my basketball skills were subpar at best. I received playing time despite this because of my effort when playing defense and grabbing rebounds.
It is important to master your skill, but effort is equally important. I know at work I could show up a minute before my patient walks in and have enough skill to wing it through their treatment.
Is that going to be my best work, though? Absolutely not.
By taking the time (effort) to get to the office 30 minutes early and plan each patient’s treatment, they will have a better experience. It will also place less stress on myself throughout the day.
In addition, I try to put in some extra effort and study first thing in the morning to continue mastering my craft as a physical therapist. There’s always the tempation to hit the snooze button when I first wake up, but I’ve seen how effort has made progress in my past and know it will continue to progress me towards a better future.
Key Takeaway
It turns out getting cut from the seventh grade team and my dad making me join the league on the opposite side of the city was one of the best things that has happened to me. It led to me seeing the value of putting myself in new and uncomfortable situations. Our environment can drastically influence our performance, and I now try my best to put myself in challenging environments so I continue to grow.
