To Be a Snowflake (A Tale of Self Worth and Rebirth)
A Beautiful Thought
I’ve thought about my life and all the obstacles I’ve overcome. I’ve overcome HIV and now I’m facing cancer. I look at my life, especially this time of year and wonder what it would be like To be a Snowflake (I know, it’s a crazy thought). I imagine it would be beautiful! How wonderful it would be to just form in the clouds from a tiny rain drop and a little dust, because even snowflakes aren’t perfect, and drift to the ground in a symphony of soft sounds and beautiful melodies. The wind would blow me around, sure, but it would also take me to places I’ve never been!
Freeing
I imagine To be a Snowflake would be a wonderful life. To not worry about anything other than where you will land, it would be a mystery which could be fun, but there would be freeing feeling about it. There wouldn’t be fear or doubt or sickness, it would just be ice and wind. I imagine that To be a Snowflake would feel like going home for the first time in a long time. There would be so many people happy to see you and some that aren’t too thrilled. They would dance in the falling ice and build snowmen. There would be snow days and snowball fights and snow angels galore! To be a Snowflake meant that there wasn’t anything to worry about.
But I’m Not a Snowflake
I’m a person who has to face the challenges of the world. I have to face the cards that life has dealt to me, and thankfully I’ve got a full house in my hand. I may be ready for the challenges ahead, but there is still fear in not knowing what to expect when facing treatments and Chemo. It’s all up in the air. This is the time that I wish I could be a snowflake. A simple piece of ice that is wisp around on the coat tail of Jack Frost. Life would be simple I think, but it would still be short…eventually a snowflake melts and all that is left is puddle of dirty water.
Taking in the Blessings
I could day dream all day about the wonderful time it would be to be a snowflake dancing and singing in the wind, but then I would miss out on life. Being an array for tiny ice crystals may sound nice, there’s no worries, but eventually even the prettiest of snow becomes a puddle of mud. At least I can say that I won’t be a puddle of mud that I will be more than the tiny snowflake I thought about. I will be someone who has experienced the blessing of healing, the blessing of rebirth, and the blessing of love from others. Sure, being a snowflake sounds fun, but I think I like being me more, even with the battles I have to face. At least I can say that I didn’t melt and become a mud puddle, I thrived and rose up stronger than ever. So what that I’m not a snowflake, but what I will be is a survivor.
