What I Meant to Say Was Thank You
Here’s what I (unfortunately) said instead
Last night, I noticed myself shutting down.
This has been my way of protecting myself for a long time — a coping mechanism that developed in childhood and still plays out today.
“If I just sit here and be quiet soon everything will go away.” My inner voice said.
So I sat silently, looked straight ahead, and hoped everything would return to normal.
It didn’t.
As the night progressed and we grew more apart, I began to think: “If I pretend like nothing happened maybe she’ll forget that it ever did.”
Again, it didn’t.
We slept in separate beds without saying goodnight and now I’m by myself wondering why I act like such a child.
This is hard to write.
It comes from a diary entry from a few years ago and it was near the end of a relationship that can never be repaired.
As painful as it is to revisit, it’s amazing to see how much I’ve grown.
Since then, I’ve come to learn that the purpose of a relationship is a lot different than I thought.
“The purpose of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you’d like to…
