What is Unconditional Love?
Love is silent. It doesn’t force anything. Love doesn’t want anything to be different, it only goes with the changes that come her way.
I notice how much I tried to change and control a woman I love dearly. She has been a blessing to my life. She was only a stranger a few years ago. And now she is a stranger that I have never loved so much.
She is the one that made me question myself. She made me question whether this is unconditional love. I didn’t believe it was. After we broke up I was devastated and thought I could never love her again. My belief of unconditional love was shattered. Didn’t God hear me? Didn’t he hear my prayers for my need to experience unconditional love?
What even is unconditional love? Is it related to being in a relationship or is that only something I’ve made myself belief. Is there such a thing as perfect love? And is unconditional love perfect?
Or is it messy, never certain, always changing, imageless and attached to nothing? If it is truly unconditional love what would that mean?
It would mean that despite the mess, despite the uncertainty, problems, and struggles you keep loving each other.
We have broken as a couple and that at first made me belief this wasn’t real. That what we had wasn’t unconditional love. And to be honest with you it wasn’t. I’ve tried to control her, change her, make her a better person instead of loving her for who she was.
After we broke up I was angry with her. I didn’t want any contact what so ever. She was the one who did me wrong, but that was only because I couldn’t hold a mirror of love to my own face. I didn’t see that I was the one who forgot what I wanted. Which was unconditional love. Maybe God did listen to me after all.
I kept asking myself: what is unconditional love? When the anger settled in, I knew. This was unconditional love. Well not at first, not during the last period of our relationship. But now, now it is.
Unconditional love isn’t perfect. But isn’t that the point? That it is messy, painful, and weird, but that despite it all you still love each other? Despite everything that happened, I now know one thing for sure, that I love this girl till the end of time.
Whether as friends, strangers, lovers, and any other role life wants us to take on. Roles and images do not have a place here. Only love for who she is matters. God might have separated us as a couple not because we weren’t meant for each other but because we both wanted to know what unconditional love was. Now we know.
Her looks may change, her actions may change, everything about her may change. But her essence will always remain the same. And that’s what I fell in love with.
We knew that all along. That we fell in love with each other for our souls, and that will always be the same. I remember how I sat on the bus and I texted her that I was missing her even though five minutes ago I had seen her. She texted me back and told me she felt the same. Which was followed my a quote that I will not forget:
If souls fall in love they do not understand distance or time. They think they will never be re-united with the other soul again and therefor feel alone and sad. They begin to miss each other only after minutes apart. But if those souls learn to understand that distance and time do not affect them. They will never be alone again for a moment in their lives, and something beautiful will spring from that.
So maybe unconditional love isn’t expressed in words, or in deeds, but felt in the heart where words and thoughts fall short. And only God knows what is right. Maybe that’s why he gave us the blessing of breaking up, to know unconditional love?
