What One Year Outside of Your Comfort Zone Can Teach You
“Growth happens outside your comfort zone.”
This cliché quote is a perfectly accurate description of what happens when you decide to do things differently. The idea is that at any time in life if your goal is to be better and do better, you must do it differently.
In my case, I believed that the early twenties should be all about getting out there and discovering the world. So, I set a goal in my mind: to get my first job in a country where it was unlikely for me to visit for more than just a touristy trip.
During my first year abroad, I was faced with many truths, bad and good, about what happens after you achieve your goal.
In this article, I will share with you the top important lessons I learned so far in this ongoing journey.
I. “The universe whispers until it screams…”
….and happy people listen while the call is still quiet.” -Brianna Wiest
At various stages of life — be it during early teenage years, young adulthood, or even later — inevitably, there are moments when we tend to disregard our own thoughts, aiming instead for what we perceive as correct or what society, and our surroundings consider a safe and prosperous path.
However, in the process, we often overlook the cues that serve as reminders of our true inner desires. This might manifest as persistent, underlying feelings of dissatisfaction in our daily activities or an enduring yearning to chase a career in the arts or live life as a full-time traveler.
That is where the universe’s “scream” may manifest, serving as a powerful signal that calls for our attention. It’s a culmination of the subtle whispers and signs that have been present all along but have now intensified to a point where they can no longer be ignored. This could come in the form of significant life events, profound realizations, or undeniable opportunities that align with our true desires.
For example, someone who always yearned for a design or art career will get whispers such as coincidentally meeting people with the same interests, or having opportunities to highlight their art. Until the universe gives them a wake-up call, such as an explicit job offer or an invite to a huge gallery to display their work, thus urging them to connect with their authentic path which leads to greater fulfillment and happiness. Alternatively, it could be someone dismissing signs of misbehavior from their circle until they get faced with a huge truth that puts everything back into perspective and helps them walk out of that dynamic.
II. Life is not a race
Life is not a race, but rather a journey of self-discovery and growth. It’s not about how fast we can reach the finish line because each person has their own definition of a finish line. The experiences we accumulate along the way are what shape who we are and define the lives we really had.
Each step, each detour, and each moment of pause contributes to our unique narrative. When we stop fixating on the destination and start relishing the present, we open ourselves up to the beauty of life’s intricate details. Embracing the rhythm of our own path allows us to savor every twist and turn, transforming life from a rushed sprint into a meaningful and enriching expedition.
In embracing, we also learn that it’s pointless to look at someone else’s path. Now don’t get me wrong, human nature has always been about learning from the person who is doing better. However, letting it get to you to a point where you disregard what you have in the current moment only leads to a constant state of misery and a “lack” mindset.
III. Trust in the timing
Complimentary to the previous point, life unfolds in its own time, and the journey is as significant as the eventual arrival. Rather than rushing through it, one must find value in patience and presence, grant oneself permission to relish the process, learn from our setbacks, and celebrate our achievements, no matter how small.
This mindset enables us to foster resilience and nurture deeper connections with others. So, step away from the pressure of competing against time and instead, embrace the opportunity to explore, learn, and grow at our own pace.
Even on the days when our aspirations or fervent hopes get delayed, an inevitable moment where our vision gets manifested, or something better, will definitely come. As this long-awaited event happens, it will bring with it a clarity of thought that will explain why things happened the way they did.
IV. Beyond the location-comfort zone
The active choice to do things differently has different costs. If I take the example of living abroad, it encompasses more than a mere geographical shift; it signifies embracing a life where the proximity to those we hold dear becomes a challenging equation.
This choice, akin to a symphony of growth, leads us to the profound realization that we cannot become who we want by clinging to who we are. And that is where we realize, a contemplative reality emerges — friends and loved ones are also charting their own courses, diverging geographically.
This natural progression urges us to venture beyond the boundaries of comfortable friendships and the decision to do things alone casts a spotlight on our evolving connections, urging us to navigate the transformative journey of growth and maybe at times, it also means letting go of people who are not aligned with the new version we are creating of ourselves.
V. The hidden side of achieving goals
Achieving goals often hides a profound truth — one that cautions against linking happiness exclusively to their attainment. Commonly referred to as the arrival fallacy:
“Arrival fallacy is this illusion that once we make it, once we attain our goal or reach our destination, we will reach lasting happiness.”
- Tal Ben-Shahar
Placing our well-being solely as a byproduct of reaching a goal makes us miserable now. We are in a state where our happiness can only be achieved if we get this or that. This singular focus conditions the mind to be in a perpetual state of pursuing more, denying gratification in the present moment.
It’s a paradox really, when the very things we set out for might leave us feeling unsatisfied, simply because the journey is overlooked.
The secret to lasting happiness rests in a more holistic formula: Something to Do, Someone to Love, Something to Look Forward To. This trio creates a rich tapestry of contentment, one where the pursuit of goals harmonizes with the beauty of the present moment.
Life is a melody to savor. The choice to stay within your own cocoon is valid as it comes with a certain peace of mind.
However, the choice to venture outside of it takes you through a rollercoaster of difficulties where you could be the saddest version of yourself at one moment but then the happiest ever at the other.
What matters in the end is that you will certainly be the strongest and a bettered version of yourself.
