I Felt Like I Was Not Good at Anything. Then I Did This
Believe me, we all feel the same. But we should know how to fight it.
In the past, I had this constant thought that I was lacking something. The only belief I had about myself was that I am behind in life or that I am not good at anything, and the progress I have been making is really small compared to others. The only question that used to haunt me was, “How am I going to survive?” “There are lots of skilled people already existing in this world.” And that fear made me go deep into this phenomenon.
I decided to talk more about that with my friends, which made me realize this is not something only I am facing. The problem was way bigger than it actually looked. Some might recognize it, while others might tackle this feeling silently.
Now I was someone who knew exactly what I was up against but couldn't do anything about it. For example, since my childhood, I have never been a good student. I was more of an average student who was scoring kind of good marks but was never satisfied with the result. And, seeing all the good students in my class continuously doing well used to make me look down on my abilities.
This comparison was not limited to inside studies only. In terms of how I used to look, that was also my reason for feeling bad about myself. As I was fat in my school days, I always hated my body. And that cost me very much in terms of my confidence level, which again put me in constant comparison with others.
Where ‘constant comparison’ came from
I do not know about people all over the world, but I can certainly tell the source of this constant comparison for Indian people.
It is their home!!!
In India, from our childhood, we have always been taught how to compare with that XYZ guy who lives two blocks away from our house or with some dude who scores well in every exam.
Now, I am not saying it is bad or good, but once the seed is sown in childhood, it gets tough to get over it that easily. Children start to compare themselves not only in terms of education but in every aspect of life.
I know it can be an ugly thing to admit, but it is what it is.
How I overcame the feeling
I have gone through this feeling for more than half of my existence until I decided to finally take steps toward it. I knew I would never be satisfied, no matter what I achieved, if I continued feeling this way.
So, I wanted an answer. I did not want to feel that anymore.
I went on the internet to find solutions and other people's perspectives on how they handled it. After watching around 5–10 videos and blogs, one common thing that I found out is that in order to stop feeling like you're "not good at anything’, self-realization is a must.
In simple terms, you need to realize that the comparison that is eating you up is all in your head. We may all be fighting for the same thing, but the roots we are taking to get there are different. The obstacles we face are absolutely non-identical.
Another thing I also need to mention is that what everyone does is they show only their good side. No one is comfortable enough to share their bad side (this may be because of the fear of judgement).
Once we realize these two basic things, the way we see ourselves in relation to this world will entirely change.
So what I always did was keep reminding myself of these two facts. That is what helped me get out of the loop.
If you ask me, “Have you overcome it completely?” My answer will always be no. Because no matter what or who you are, it is impossible to fully get out of this.
I still compare myself sometimes, but the only difference now is that I know how to control my thoughts of comparison.
I kept on reminding myself that, though we are all fighting this phenomenon, people are just hiding it.
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