How to Use Restlessness as an Opportunity
You feel restless because you cannot be with your Self.
your current Self is dissatisfied with the way things are and craves change.
It is this dissonance between wanting and having that creates restlessness.
Let’s start by turning it around to make it more obvious:
What is the opposite experience of inner restlessness?
How do you feel when there are no inner conflicts, even if for a brief moment?
Stillness, Peace.
So what is it like, experiencing the feeling of peace?
If you reflect on that question it likely gives you a feeling of relief already.
Peace is State of Being.
You feel at peace when you can BE with your Self.
You feel restless because you cannot be with your Self.
You are not able to be here, now.
This dissonance is experiences as restlessness.
Restlessness is a driver of change.
But truly your perception of reality has distorted your desires.
You desire what you think you want, not what you truly want.
you want peace
Restlessness is the symptom that you are not at peace.
the main reason:
you cannot sit with a discomfortable feeling.
Conditioned mental patterns are driving you away from that feeling.
In unrelentless attempts to bring “peace” with effort, your mind fails to deliver the desired feeling.
Which creates more restlessness, because the gap between perceived reality and reality increases.
True Peace of mind is effortless.
This is the difference between stimulation and satisfaction
an example:
You are sitting at home on your screen, working.
A feeling of boredom arises.
Your brain responds with neurotransmitters to make seeking other stimuli more rewarding.
your mind is likely to fall into an already learned pattern of thought.
your body is likely to follow suit.
You are running to the fridge to check for ice cream or other sweets.
Maybe you check social media and get sucked into the algorithm.
(likely both + a few other habits on top)
Pick your poisons — there are endless opportunities in 2023
Of course, this process will rarely happen the way it is described.
Repetition automates. mental processes become faster and unconscious.
First, you become unaware of that feeling of boredom
then you become unaware of your mental reaction to checking the fridge or social media
at some point: An empty ice cream package suddenly appears next to you.
Suddenly two hours have passed scrolling through social media.
Like Sleepwalking, these habits have slipped away from your conscious awareness.
If you do this for long enough the effects will compound.
You start to gain weight.
Your concentration worsens every day.
Things are not as they are supposed to be.
But you are unable to see why they are not the way they should be.
Because “You” have not done them (consciously).
Someone else always did it (you unconsciously).
Your Shadow grows and gets projected outwards.
In other words:
Inner Restlessness is created by unconscious behaviors that do not manifest the reality you desire.
The Dissonance between reality and Illusion is experienced as restlessness.
Restlessness is the symptom that something needs changing.
Your True Self knows, that things can be better.
It forces you to act by increasing your suffering, every time you fail to see what is hidden in plain sight.
Reality will confront us regardless of how strongly we believe in the illusion of reality we have built.
4 concrete tips:
1. Document undesired behaviours
Be a scientist in an experiment. Simply document, don’t judge.
E.g. track how much time you spend on social media every day and look at the data once a week.
Measure what matters. This is the easiest way to bring light into the dark and close the gap between illusion and reality.
2. Interrupt patterns.
If you are having feelings of restlessness and you are trying to distract yourself.
Go outside, put the phone away.
Sit in that space in between and let yourself be surprised by what comes up.
3. Become Honest
What is the one thing that you try to avoid the most?
Is it related to your health, relationships, work, or something else?
What is that one thing that you do not want to confront?
4. Sit with it
Sitting with that feeling and facing it is the hardest yet most sustainable thing to do.
You can start by meditating and imagining a situation where you lose control.
Observe that urge and just allow yourself to sit with the feeling you are trying to escape from.
Try to videotape it, as if you are recording it without any filters.
Just look at the sensations of that feeling without falling into the mental habits.
If you can do this for just one minute every day, you can save yourself a lot of time, money, and psychotherapy.
All the best to you on your journey
