Why Coaching Works and When Should You Get A Coach?
Embarking on a new journey as a coach, I am busting myths about the profession with newfound information and learnings during my coach training.
I have been mentoring pro-bono for a while, but I soon realized I have hit an upper ceiling on who I can mentor and the topics I can mentor on. Making a difference in people's lives fuels me, and I wanted to see how I can expand that impact.
After giving it some thought, I started my coach training this August to reach more people and create a more profound impact in their lives. Little did I know that I would go into the training without understanding the complete extent of the role and the impact it can create.
I learnt a lot, not just about the skills but also about all sorts of misconceptions I had about coaching. Let me share what I have understood about coaching practice in the form of a Q&A below! These are based on my learnings in the past six months. Happy to hear any new perspective if you have some to offer.
What is coaching, really?
Coaching is someone believing in you, listening to you with 100% focus and attention, blurting out the truth without fear, holding you accountable for taking actions, helping you see the core issues, and guiding you to work through them — all to support you to get some clarity and to reach your goals with a singular focus and intention.
Without all the fluff around it, it boils down to this.
It could be for your goals for health and fitness, career, relationships, performance, productivity, business, leadership, communication, or other topics you face. The crux stays the same. Anything else is mentoring, advising, consulting, counseling, or therapy — all important in their place. Usually, people offer a combination of one or more of those services in order to provide the best value to their clients.
How is it different than mentoring?
A mentor would also guide you towards your goals, building on their own experiences and journey. That's one of the most significant differences. Another one is that the mentor is also there to provide you with answers to your questions. Coach, however, helps you find the answers within yourself by asking a lot of powerful questions.
A mentor would be someone helping you make a career transition that they have gone through, for example, by advising on a skill development plan. A coach would be someone who would train your mindset, and make your resources available to you, help you lift the fog on the next steps, all for you to make a successful transition.
Is it not the same as therapy?
Therapy is to heal wounds of the past, to work through mental health issues, and to learn strategies to go through your life unhindered.
Coaching, however, focuses on getting clarity, working through mental blocks, planning toward the future, and expanding your impact by pushing you to grow beyond your comfort zone. It inevitably touches on some mindset and behavioral topics that therapy(especially Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, aka CBT) also does, but the approach towards those topics differs in both practices.
Does it really work? Why?
- Coach asks the client questions that no one in your life usually would ask you. That's what unlocks a lot of insights for a client — getting asked those questions and then having a safe space to share their thoughts.
- Additionally, people usually don't get this 100% focused listener who is unafraid to say out loud the difficult things, to challenge them so directly while holding their agenda so firmly.
- Coaches believe in their clients so strongly, their strengths and resourcefulness, and their ability to achieve their goals, however big they feel to the clients. That is really powerful. Think about instances in your life where someone believed in you, and you managed to move mountains just because of that belief someone else put in you.
- Coaches keep you accountable, and that accountability works wonders! Do you remember the last time you managed to keep a streak for your gym/sports session, just because your buddy signed up for it with you, and now you both drag each other out to the gym — exactly! Since the coach is unafraid to challenge you and ask you difficult questions, they WILL hold you accountable for the necessary action items to make progress on your goals!
Do I need a coach?
No one really needs a coach, bluntly speaking. As I mentioned above, everyone is resourceful enough by themselves to reach their goals successfully. Coaches help bring more clarity and reduce the volume of the noise around you so as to help you reach your goals either faster or with a bigger impact, or both!
Coaches can help you find your blind spots, provide different perspectives, approach topics with an open mind, and push you to do the same. They can work with you to create value-aligned decision-making frameworks, structures, and accountability to help you stay consistent in your efforts toward your goals!
When should I get a coach?
A very simple answer is: When you feel stuck.
The long answer is: When you find yourself running in circles, not able to find clarity on the next steps, feel directionless, or simply want to tap into your full potential and want to stretch yourself out of your comfort zone. I have seen people usually come to coaching:
- when they are planning to or going through some changes: career transitions, habit formation, performance improvement, starting something new(e.g., business, leadership roles)
- or they are trying to improve something (drastically): business, health and fitness, productivity, job performance, interpersonal relationships, skills(e.g., communication, negotiations)
It is important to note that if you are feeling symptoms of mental health issues, you should seek therapy instead — coaches are usually not trained to provide the needed support in that case. It's unethical even to try.
Can anyone get a coach?
Yes.
I think there are a few necessities for the coaching relationship to be successful:
- Coachability: Open-mindedness to participate in the coaching conversations, face many powerful questions, readiness to discover insights that come up as a consequence, and willingness to bring in your whole self to the session.
- Commitment: Most of the work of coaching happens in between the sessions. Coaches help guide the clients to discover insights and commit to actions and inquiries to think about in their own time. The clients must show commitment to the work required to get the best out of the coaching relationship.
- Safe space: The client needs to have access to a distraction-free environment where they can express themselves fully, a safe space to open up and be in the moment with the coach.
Great! How do I pick a coach?
Your coach can make a lot of difference in your life, giving you incredible ROI on your coaching fees — if the coach you pick is a right fit for you! So have a "chemistry" or "discovery" session with a few coaches and see how they click with you before putting your money on it. Most coaches usually offer the first session for free or at a very low cost — that's where you both can figure out if you can connect well, communicate openly, and build trust as the relationship progresses.
You can, of course, consider finding a coach who specializes in the topics you are looking for or has some experience working with people like yours in terms of background. However, I think it's more important that you click with your coach than they are the best coaches in your topic.
This is the end of the Q&A for this post. I am still learning and would love to know what other questions do people have regarding coaching that I can help find the answers for!
I am a career coach working with senior tech professionals working through career topics and new business owners to navigate the overwhelming challenges that come with the opportunity! If you are looking for a coach, feel free to contact me for a free discovery session!
