Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?

Renuka Gavrani
Change Your Mind Change Your Life
7 min readDec 27, 2024

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One of the most asked questions by religious or spiritual gurus is, ‘Why do bad things happen to good people?’

I used to dwell on this question as well thinking that maybe, there must be some kind of divine reason. Maybe God makes good people suffer so that they can come closer to him, and seek refuge in him.

Or at least this is what I heard from the ‘religious’ people around the world. But here is an answer that I recently realized and it makes sense to me.

Image of the author

I think bad things happen to good people because,

“Good people are busy being nice to bad people.”

And before you lecture me on how we all are here to be kind to each other and help and make this world better, I just want to clarify that ‘I know all this and I wholeheartedly believe in the same.’

But there is a difference between being kind and nice.

While kindness allows you to do what you can to help someone get out of a bad situation, niceness means pushing yourself into a bad situation so you can help others.

So if, for some reason, you have been waiting for all the ‘niceness’ you have done for others to accumulate and bless you in some extraordinary way, I suggest, get your butt out of your chair and maybe, this time, do some good deeds in your own life so you can finally have the life you wish for.

To give you an example, just yesterday, I read on social media that a woman donated one of her kidneys to her boss but later on, the boss fired that same woman because she was taking too long to recover.

Recover from what?

From the damage that she had done to her body for her boss because she was a good person.

You see, the irony? The inhumanity? The level of ignorance and cruelty here?

That’s what pulls good people behind. Good people are innocently uninformed. They just don’t have the mind to think that not everyone is like them.

Thus, they end up going that extra mile for anyone they meet. They think ‘That’s what we ought to do.’

While this is a good societal value that makes us believe in humanity and kindness on tough days, it’s also a sign of weakness.

Why weakness?

Because,

a) You end up suffering yourself one way or the other. And let’s say that divine as you consider yourself to be, you are fine with suffering as long as it helps others. Still…

b) Your ability to be ignorant with your niceness allows bad people to take a leap that they never deserved. It gives power to the hands of those who are a danger to society.

If you help someone who shouldn’t be helped, that doesn’t make you a closer devotee of God. It makes you just as wrong as the one who did wrong with your help.

Having said that, I am not saying that we shouldn’t give a second chance to someone whose life may improve with our little help or forgiveness, I am asking you to be more mindful of ‘Who you forgive or help.’ Because not everyone is capable of change, some are only as good at manipulating you into believing that they will change.

It happens at every stage, every level of our day-to-day lives.

Your friend may keep asking you to help them with money while never returning it on time. You may think you are being a good friend. But do you know what they do with that money? Are you sure that your money is not being used for some bad purpose?

Or you may keep forgiving your partner for the same low-quality behavior towards you because they keep promising that they will change. But in the end, you only do things:

a) You hurt yourself. You send signals to yourself, subconsciously, this is what you deserve and then you wonder, ‘Why can’t I find someone to love me the way I deserve?’

b) You encourage the low-quality behavior in your partner to a level that they get comfortable with it. They know, it takes five minutes to manipulate you or maybe a small present to guarantee the promises of change. You train them to continue to be bad.

When I say, bad people, I don’t mean the people who have done something drastically bad like stealing or murdering.

Bad people are the ones who are inconsiderate of others' time and feelings.

For example: Three years back, I was working with a client to write LinkedIn posts for him. He later asked to work on his Instagram as well. When I joined their team, in a month, I realized that his team was robbing him. They were just taking money from him and in return, not providing the kind of quality he deserved. After waiting for three months, I finally gathered the courage to inform him.

He heard me. He realized that what I was saying was true. And in a month, he fired his old agency and found a new one. And guess what?

In seven months, he went from 20,000 followers on Instagram to one million.

Now you see what happens when you leave bad people?

He left the agency that wasn’t respecting his talent and knowledge and shifted to the one who knew at once, that he had extraordinary information to share. Result?

As a result, good things started to happen to good people.

How to Make Good Things Happen to Good People:

Honestly, I had no idea why I was writing this article. I didn’t want it to be one of those articles that encourage you to numb your good heart. Because, I like to believe that even if a small one, I have a good heart too.

And I want to share my love and kindness who need it. I want to be of use.

But I also don’t want to encourage bad behavior.

So, what should we do?

Well, simple enough.

Be good to good people and let bad people deal with their actions for a change.

When you do good things to good people, not only do you help someone out but it’s 100% guaranteed that your help went in the right direction.

Secondly, stop trying to be a God. You don’t have to pretend to be a saint, not to yourself and not to the world. By being nice to bad people, you are not going to become a good person. You won’t become any kinder or better than the rest. You will open the gate of suffering for yourself.

You have to realize that,

There is a difference between being nice and good. Being nice means behaving like a hired maid of people — available at all times to do anything that’s asked. You shouldn’t be nice to anyone, not even to good people because,

‘People forget they didn’t hire you to do their work. They forget you have boundaries. They forget you have a life and problems of their own.’

If you start to become over-available, you will end up getting accused for the times you couldn’t rather than being thanked for the all times you were available.

So, for God’s sake, learn to pay attention to your own life. The reason good things don’t happen to good people is that good people forget to do the goodness in their own lives.

Our lives are not a product of our karma.

Our lives are a product of our present actions.

If you don’t do good in your life, no matter which God you worship, you will not get anything good in life.

Because duh!!! You didn’t do anything good for yourself. You didn’t perform any good act in your own life.

You have to say NO loudly. So loudly that people know they can’t get their ‘manipulation’ worked through you. Stay home and do your work instead of going out when you don’t want to just because you wanted to give company to a friend. Switch off your phone, read, and grow your mind rather than listening to the 10th breakup story of your friend. Say, ‘I have a life of my own’ when someone tries to get you to do something. But for your own sake, please learn that good doesn’t happen when you do good things for others.

‘Life is not a charity competition. What you do in your own life will reflect the kind of life you will continue to have.’

Conclusion: What Good Can You Do For Yourself?

‘What is ONE GOOD ACT you can perform for yourself every day?

Ask yourself this question every day despite your situation, and watch your life change.

God was kind enough to give you a brain so you can have a life of your own, the one that comes from you. The life that you choose for yourself. The life that makes you happy.

You have the power to make that life for yourself. That power lies in your actions. Good actions. Try to take these actions for yourself. Try to do the good things for yourself so that good can start happening to you and you stop wondering ‘Why do bad things happen to good people.’

Not being present in your own life brings bad things to your life.

Doing good things for bad people brings bad things in your life.

Not doing anything good for yourself brings bad things in your life.

Stop blaming God or destiny for that. Take responsibility and choose who you give your goodness to.

If you liked this article, you will love my book — ‘The Magic of Creative Living: A Conscious Path to a Joyful Life.’

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Change Your Mind Change Your Life
Change Your Mind Change Your Life

Published in Change Your Mind Change Your Life

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Renuka Gavrani
Renuka Gavrani

Written by Renuka Gavrani

I talk about slow & Intentional living - taking you closer to a happy life. I am a published author of the book 'The Art of Being Alone': https://a.co/d/531JIFq

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