Why Is It Hard To Accept Changes Into Our lives?

And how can we make it easier?

Photo by Yogendra Singh on Unsplash

We all have something we would like to change about ourselves and our lives in general. But committing to those changes is where the tricky part lies.

We are faced with a resistance that prevents us from welcoming changes into our lives.

Change is the only constant in life.

We have all heard this cliche, and we know it’s true, But if change is constant, why can’t we adapt to it quickly?

Why can’t we invite changes in our lives smoothly?

It’s not the changes that feel hard but the process you go through while trying to commit to them.

We make things difficult by not understanding the process of change, and so we get stuck.

By understanding the process and eliminating some common mistakes, We will accept changes easily and design the life we wish for ourselves. So let’s get on with it:-

1. Fear of missing out

When you go through changes, You transition from a part of life to the other. The emotional attachment we hold with our past self is what makes it harder to accept change.

You become comfortable with your current way of living, and when you try to change, you are thrown into discomfort, which we humans tend to avoid.

There’s also the so-called FOMO (fear of missing out) that we fear. Change requires a long-term commitment, so you will have to opt-out of a few things that give you short-term pleasure to be able to make your life better in the long run.

But we humans avoid anything and everything that makes us feel uncomfortable, so this FOMO becomes a big stone that many people cannot overcome while trying to change things in life.

How to overcome FOMO?

• Be determined. Write down why you want to change and how your life will look if you can commit to the changes.
• Ask yourself, Are the things you are scared to miss out on even matter? Do they add enough value to the kind of life you want? I am sure you know the answer.
• Don’t be too hard on yourself; You can have fun while improving yourself. Do things that give you pleasure but in limit. It’s all about balance.

2. Taking on too much

We want to change many things about our lives, so we try to do that all at once. Doing more than you can handle leads to failure.

Trying to change everything at once is the most common mistake people commit when trying to change themselves.

You can’t change everything about yourself and your life in one shot. It’s nearly impossible to do that.

What can you do instead?

• Set your priorities. Write down the habits that are holding you back the most. Work on them first.
• Change one habit at a time. Don’t try to eat the elephant all at once; take it to bite by bite.

As you get comfortable with one habit, try introducing other good habits into your life gradually.

3. Not having Enough Patience.

If there is one habit that most successful people have in common is patience. Having patience while doing something is very important.

Change requires time. You can’t completely change yourself in one week, one month, or even a year. It’s a slow process, and if you don’t have patience, you will quit.

What can you do about it?

• Focus on enjoying the process rather than results. Enjoying the process will help you be more patient when you don’t see instant results.
• Reward yourself for small victories. Don’t wait to celebrate till you achieve something big. Set small objectives and reward yourself when you achieve them.

There is no secret formula to increase patience as it’s a quality you have to cultivate yourself.

4. Lack of commitment

Change requires a deep level of commitment. When things are going smoothly, you are usually motivated.

But when the motivation runs out, things start to feel repetitive and boring, then the test of commitment begins.

If you are not committed, you will most likely give up even when faced with a tiny obstacle.

What can be done about it?

• The level of commitment depends on how much you want to change; Don’t allow yourself to fall back to your old habits, not even sometimes.
• Have an accountability partner. Share your goals with people who want the same for themselves. Doing this will make things more interesting for you and will add an extra level of commitment.

We care a lot about our self-esteem, and by telling people your goals, you know you will need to accomplish them as those people will keep an eye on you.

5. Having unclear vision

Our mind desires a clear direction about things we do because it gives our brain a sense of control.

But when you are unclear about things you want to do, you feel confused, and things get more overwhelming than they are.

Knowing why you want to change is as important as how or what.

Having clear and specific goals will motivate you to act upon them.

What can be done about it?

• Develop a clear and simple plan that can help you keep track of your main goals and set weekly and daily objectives. You can keep a separate notebook for goal setting.
• Break down the big main goal into smaller and achievable steps. If you want to be healthier, track your habits, Remove bad ones, and include the good ones.

In Conclusion

Accepting change is hard because we are not used to it. It’s only hard initially, but as you keep trying, things get easier and more comfortable for you.

Things that can make change easy:-

• Having a clear why, why exactly do you want to change?
• Having clear goals, What’s your main goal?
• Breaking down the main goal into small objectives.
• Reward yourself after reaching small steps.
• Having an accountability partner adds an extra level of commitment.
• Enjoying the process rather than focusing on results.
• Being patient.