You Can’t Choose All Your Boundaries, Which Can Be Annoying
When we first recognise we need to set boundaries it can be both daunting and liberating. Daunting in the sense that we might see we have no boundaries and need to set some ASAP and liberating in that we can curate a life in line with our desires/wants and needs.
Today we’ll be focusing on the latter point because if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my path to healthy boundaries it’s that some boundaries we can’t choose. This is because what we may “want” might not align with what we truly “need”. The two are not the same.
For example, this weekend there’s a big event on in the city which all my friends are going to but after a few busy weekends which have left me mentally drained I know I need to set a boundary.
I need to not go, and potentially let people down in the process.
That being said, a part of me would like to go and I can sense the desire. It would be fun, and I’d surely enjoy it at the time — but feel the brunt of it thereafter. In this, my boundary-setting here is based on a deeper-awareness of what I am needing rather than wanting. Not all our wants will fulfil us like we think they will — take unhealthy relationships, as we’ll speak about later.
Additionally, a part of me wishes I could be the social-bunny who has a plan…
