Jan 6, 2022
You’ll Never Grow Spiritually By Settling For Less
A great error that spread by religions
Most people, if not every single one of us, have enormous potential. We can do things we wouldn’t even imagine being capable of doing in our wildest dreams.
If you’re struggling financially and you think that you can’t be the richest person in the world, I’m sorry to tell you that you’re right — because that’s what you believe in right now.
If you’re struggling with your health, and you believe that there’s no way for you to be the healthiest version of yourself — again, sorry to tell you that you’re right.
That’s how powerful your beliefs are.
Whatever your situation is right now, believe it or not, you can get yourself out of it. I trust and believe so much in you, more than you do yourself, because I’m a human being just like you — and I’ve seen what we, as human beings, can really do if we just gave ourselves a chance.
If we’re so cool then, why do we so rarely give ourselves a chance to go beyond our limitations? Why do we force ourselves to conform, over and over again, for a life with little to no meaning?
Perhaps we’ve been sold the idea that we’re powerless beings on a lost planet. Perhaps we’ve given up because we believe that there’s no point in doing anything.
Yet, most of us yearn for the hero’s journey. We empathize very deeply with the underdog, with the one who has nothing to show for and yet, fights to change things.
Movies, songs, video games— our whole entertainment industry thrives on telling us the same story, over and over again, through different characters and setups. Why do we keep buying the same thing? Why do we keep asking for the same thing?
Where is this part of us that’s so responsive to such bold souls? Why is it so responsive to courage, to fighting for oneself, to transcending limitations? But more importantly, what does our deep and intense responsiveness to growth say about us?
Each one of us is powered with desire — the desire to explore possibilities and learn about ourselves, about what we’re really capable of accomplishing.
Unfortunately, the era in which we’re living has predominantly been telling us that we’re cogs in a giant machine. We’ve always been told to conform, to get ourselves a job, to shut up, to live up to societal standards and so on.
While a striking voice keeps begging for our attention from the depths of our being, we ignore it most of the time. Does it change a thing? Of course not. We still conform, we do what we have to do, yet we’re not alive. The fire of our promises to ourselves keep burning us from the inside. And because we refuse to pay attention to it. We look like we’ve lost something, like we’re forcing ourselves to go through the motions.
That’s how most people spend their lives. That’s how they’ve been taught to spend it. And most of them are fine living like this. But an increasing number of people are getting sick of it. And if you’re reading this, you are one of them.
Eventually, there comes a point in our lives when we have to have the tough discussion with ourselves. We must be honest with our feelings, be real with what we truly want for ourselves and finally take the damn leap of faith. Not faith in life only, but faith in ourselves — in our ability to learn along the way and cope with the unknown.
That’s when we move from settling, to expanding. And it doesn’t necessarily need to be a physical thing; we can start from within. We can question everything we believe in. We can move into the unknown.
For thousands of years, we were lost, confused and we had to fight to survive. We didn’t have much knowledge about the world and so, we clung to every bit of knowledge we got from our experiences.
If a tiger was threatening to our survival, we made the color and the shape a priority in our memory. We learned it with our soul, and we were very loyal to the information. Slowly but surely, we attached ourselves psychologically (mentally and emotionally) to our memory. That’s how the ‘ego’ was born; the attachment to our self-image.
To find food and survive, we had to pay attention to our surroundings. We developed our senses. Certain colors meant certain things. Certain shapes meant other things. Repeat those patterns millions of times, and you have the inheritance of the modern day human being who responds to vivid colors for a reason, who’s attracted to certain shapes for other reasons, who clings to security — or the ‘known’ — for a reason.
And fear is just that — avoidance of pain, whether physically or psychologically. Fear makes us cling to what we know, it makes us attached to what’s familiar and because of this attachment, we settle for less — we conform, we crave something more and yet — we can’t help ourselves.
What our ancestors learned and transmitted to us is definitely helpful, but it’s also unpractical to modern day living. We’re not in a jungle anymore and clearly, we’re easily being manipulated today due to those learned patterns.
What gives credit to fear? Plain and simply, the body’s reaction. Whenever we experience a painful event in our lives, our reaction is to avoid it the next time so that we’re not hurt and therefore, survive. This is obviously great and it has its place, but what about the fears that stop us from growing?
What about the fears of tomorrow, the fear of being rejected, the fear of speaking up for ourselves, the fear of telling the truth, the fear of saying NO, the fear of starting something new, the fear of others’ opinions about us, and so on. What about those fears? Do they in any way help us survive, or do they limit us?
You’re too smart not to know the answer.
Clearly, at some point, we’ve confused the boundaries between practicality and the absurd when it comes to fear. We’ve allowed it full control over our lives and everyday, it kills our dreams. Fear breeds conformity. And conformity ends creation, progress, the new.
How to deal with fear and end conformity
To end conformity, you need the courage to explore the new. And this can only happen by befriending fear. Here’s how to do just that:
- Whenever similar conditions to painful events in your life are brought together, you’ll feel fearful. This is your body’s response to something that has been registered as a threat to your wellbeing/survival.
- Once you’ve noticed it, you should allow your body’s response to happen. Don’t resist it. Don’t think about being courageous or try to live up to some macho’s standards. You want to be real with you, and work with the facts. I am fearful at this moment, my body is fearful. And you want to accept it.
- In accepting your current state of fear, you learn about your body’s programming. It clearly is showing you everything it went through for millions of years. It’s in your DNA. The body’s instincts come from so many experiences. You can’t judge it. You have to observe. And learn from it.
- Once you’ve become fully aware of the situation, you can start to change things. By allowing fear to be, you give yourself the power to act differently — you ‘host’ your fear, you take the hand of your inner child, and like a loving parent — you guide yourself out of the situation, while still feeling the strong heartbeat, sweating, trembling, and feeling confused. That’s okay.
If you keep doing it enough, fear turns into an ally, one that teaches you everything you need to know. The reason behind its existence, what you can do about it, and so on. All this that you’ve just read, it doesn’t come from books, it comes from observing yourself and learning each and every instant of your life from this direct observation.
And hopefully it did resonate with your personal experiences regarding the subject because, we’re both human beings after. We share the same journey, only in different setups and by being our unique characters.
You are your best book, your body and your story have everything you need to know about yourself, and others, and the world because we’re all in this together. We’re human beings, in this gigantic cell called the Earth.
Bring back your power to this very instant, start with the facts — what you’re thinking about, what you’re feeling right now — and go from there. Don’t try to live up to someone else’s expectations. Don’t be what you’re not. Listen to your inner voice. And act on it.
It doesn’t need to be dramatic. Start small, but start. No one needs to know about it. Do it with yourself, behind closed doors. And bit by bit, day after day, you’ll blossom and your actions will speak so much louder than most people’s fancy but empty words.
Everybody’s keeping themselves busy through magnificent but utterly useless speeches today. We don’t have the time for this. Stay focused on the work, on action, on being practical — and one day, they’ll all ask you ‘what’s your secret?’, to which you’ll reply — ‘my inner voice’. I know, not so cool. But that’s your expectation, not mine!
