In the beginning of my dark night of the soul, I felt incredibly lost. I felt disoriented and overwhelmed, with no idea of what was going on.
Suddenly, I no longer resonated with the career I was getting myself into. I no longer enjoyed the company of many of my friends, and I could no longer pretend my family was not dysfunctional. Every foundation of my life was falling apart, and it still is.
But this journey has taught me many lessons, and one of them was that this painful phase of my life can turn into my biggest blessing if I’m brave enough to keep going despite the obstacles.
Because this is the redirection I didn’t know I needed.
A dark night of the soul takes place when you’ve outgrown our old life; when your old self is slowly fading away but your new self hasn’t yet materialized. I know how confusing it can be, but the Universe is giving you a chance to realize what’s wrong and follow a better a course of action.
In order to do that, you first need to identify the root causes of your unhappiness in your old life, so that you can let them go and build your new authentic self — and that takes a lot of work.
Times of Desperation Give Us The Redirection We Need
When my dark night first began, I thought I had my life figured out. I was beyond happy, finally doing an internship at the company I had always wanted to work for.
A few months went by, and I no longer felt joy in what I was doing. In fact, I was starting to get extremely anxious, feeling this huge resistance and not understanding where it was coming from. Besides, my boss (whom I admired a lot) left and I could find no reason to stay.
Why was I anxious if this had been my dream for so many years?
I soon realized that even though I loved my job, it was not in alignment with my emotional and spiritual needs.
Commuting 3 hours a day and staying inside an office the whole day was killing my creativity.
Besides, I also realized that my dream was not really mine — instead, it was based on what I believed would be acceptable by both society and my parents. I wanted to impress them; I wanted to feel like they were proud of me.
But my dark night of the soul forced me to acknowledge that this was not my path. I was not meant to live by my family’s rules, or to follow the preconceived ideas society tells us to follow.
I wanted more for my life than monotony. I wanted to feel free and alive. I wanted to travel, to write, to slow down my life and live mindfully. And I knew it was possible, but my busyness and my people-pleasing tendencies were blocking me.
Without my dark night, I’d still be trying to be someone I’m not.
So, if you’re just as lost, confused and overwhelmed as I was, I encourage you turn inward and get in touch with the most genuine pieces of your being — the pieces you’ve been ignoring for years.
Perhaps it’s that burning passion you’ve always had for painting, writing, dancing or singing, but that you never believed was worth pursuing.
Perhaps the relationships you have in your life are not as healthy as you’d like them to be, and you need to let some of them go in order to improve your environment and follow your dreams.
Or perhaps you have some deep-seated emotions that you’ve been suppressing since you were a child and you now need to face them.
Whatever it is — be brave enough to stop ignoring it. Be brave enough to redirect your life and learn the lessons your dark night is trying to teach you.
The Universe doesn’t give us any obstacles we’re not ready to overcome. In fact, it gives us exactly what we need to live our best life and let go of what no longer serves us.
I know how painful it is to feel like you’re in limbo, but the limbo is just a sign your old life was not in alignment with your true self.
Your path will get clearer once you allow yourself to integrate the lessons behind this experience. I promise.