A little empathy can make a difference
Practicing empathy doesn’t always take great effort. A little bit of empathy can make a big difference in a person’s life; we can restore lost hope by something as small as a hug.
When I came to Ecuador, I lost touch with my best friend, and I had a really hard time coping without talking to him every day. I was doing all these incredible things, and my best friend, the person who I shared everything with, was suddenly unable to connect with me. I’d seen ash and smoke erupt from the Cotopaxi, experienced life in a convent, and found a deep love for fruits like Taxo and Tomate del Arbol, but he wasn’t excited for me anymore. As you can imagine, it left me feeling a bit empty.
I soon learned that a boy in my program, Or, was going through a similar emotional experience. It took us a few days to talk and we became really good friends. It was a little ironic that he was from Israel. (I am from Palestine.) However, that didn’t really matter as much. We were lucky enough to be sent to the same part of Ecuador for a few days.
When we found out about what regions we would be in, we sat around discussing what we could expect from our host families and cities for the next six months. I noticed a small group near us playing music and practicing what seemed to be a circus act (a pretty intense one, if you ask me.) Then, at some point during our meeting, this circus group started playing music by one of my favorite artists, a Puerto Rican duo called Calle 13. They played a particular song that my best friend used to sing all the time: while he was washing the dishes, cleaning his room or walking to the store. When they played it, I was overcome by a wave of nostalgia.
Instead of just dealing with it alone, which is what I usually do, I decided to take a leap of faith and tell my new friend, Or, as he was close by. I wasn’t sure what I expected from him, probably just his acknowledgment or a smile, but I was surprised. Once I told Or he suddenly stood up, walked around our group, hugged me hard, and told me that he knew that it felt awful right now. He also told me it was going to be okay eventually.
And strangely enough, just knowing that he understood; that he really knew I was feeling horrible, and that this feeling wasn’t going to go away easily, made me actually feel a bit better. Or in the very least, Or’s ability to feel as I felt, although he was hoping to move on in the same way I was trying and failing to, made me feel less lonely in the process of moving forward in my life.
That made all the difference.
Bio: Deema Sosebee is a Global Citizen Year Ecuador Fellow who spent her bridge year before college in Cuenca, Ecuador. Global Citizen Year is an award-winning, non-profit social enterprise on a mission to make it normal to choose a bridge year; an experience after high school that builds self-awareness, global skills, and grit — the foundations for success in college and beyond. This blog has been published as a part of the #StartEmpathy series, an ongoing campaign by Ashoka for the Think it Up! initiative.
