Relationship-Building in a Hyper Drive World
In our fast-paced world of networking organizations and activities that go into hyper drive, we must form connections within a short period. Often the most we accomplish is knowing another person’s name and which organization they belong to.
I am a self-described introvert, not because I don’t want to be with people, but because I want a meaningful connection with every person I interact with. How do you do that at a party with a hundred people? How do you build a relationship with people in an organization that only meets in person three to four times a year?
Listening
You can discover a lot about a person if you stop talking and listen to what they have to say. In a networking organization, within the first few seconds of meeting someone new, they would tell you why they are there and who got them involved. They would mention something about their background, which campus they attended, who their group of friends are, what they enjoy doing together. Then they would get pulled into another group and you store away what you learned for when you meet them again.
I am always surprised when people I barely said a word to the last time we met would approach me the next time we encounter each other. They rarely remember my name, but they remember they enjoyed talking to me. And I would recall a detail from our last conversation.
People appreciate the effort you make to get to know them.
Verbal & Non-Verbal Communication
Never underestimate the power of a smile. I have been to gatherings where I did not know anyone in attendance, but I smiled at them, anyway. A smile is an invitation to connect, a signal that you are open to a conversation.
Verbal communication is crucial. Take advantage of infrequent gatherings. Approach everyone, exchange meaningful ideas. Be positive and encouraging — be happy to see them. You only get a few minutes with them each year, make them count.
Empathy
No one enjoys being judged. Always make a person feel welcome and understood. Empathize with individuals who regret not being able to support past events. They attended gatherings again, be thankful for their presence.
Conflict Resolution
Conflict is inevitable in any organization. Creating an environment of open communication, discussing the issue instead of going behind someone’s back, is always preferable.
Relationships and the trust that built them are fragile. Restoring trust becomes difficult once it is broken.
Collaboration
Nothing brings people closer than working on a project together. To accomplish your goals, you have to communicate more frequently. While doing so, you learn how to get along. And a shared triumph is a special memory that will encourage you to work on other projects together.
Positivity
Complaining about an already arduous task makes it more difficult. Thinking about a solution to the problem, prioritizing so you can complete the task in a timely manner is a better use of your energy.
A positive person adds more value to an organization. They prevent people from panicking or seeing tasks as impossible. I would rather build a relationship with a positive person than a negative one.
Leadership Advantage
A leader who has a meaningful relationship with his team can easily call them into action. They respond to his requests for support and are eager to work with him to accomplish goals.
I believe we should treat every person we meet the way we want to be treated. Personally, I treat those in my small circle of friends as family. When I throw a party for an organization I lead, I would not serve dishes I wouldn’t serve to my family. I look forward to treating them to something special — a treat I know they will appreciate because I know them.
This attitude is not for everyone. Some leaders just want to get things done. But I need people to accomplish great things. An activity that is an impersonal checklist of all tasks that need to be done is good. But an event where everyone is eager to connect and build relationships while reaching a goal is better.
As one of my wise friends said, people you lead mirror your actions. If you care about them and connect with them, they will care about you and connect with you. A team that neither cares nor connects will burn out. You need that extra motivation to get things done, no matter how difficult the task is.
