Alice in Wilderland?
My marriage and our wildlife? No, it is not a sob story of a marriage marred by a husband’s wild and violent behavior. It is a series of encounters, like Alice in wilder land….
I have been married for quite some time now! These years have been packed with interesting incidents and anecdotes, in addition to packing and unpacking because of constant transfers. Born and brought up in Bangalore, I was exposed to the cosmopolitan and egalitarian nature of Bangaloreans. After marriage, we came to a coastal city and stayed in a rented house in the suburbs.
Fight to finish!
Our house was situated at the foot of a hill. The small garden in front of the house was full of chameleons and huge lizards. A few of the lizards decided to sneak into the house as if to keep me company. Unlike the lizards of Bangalore, lizards here were larger and healthier looking. Being totally paranoid of reptiles/rodents, and spotting such lizards inside the house prompted an SOS to my husband at work. Initially, my husband went out of his way to shoo these creatures but what ultimately ran out….was his patience, not the lizards. He told me to ‘get along’ with these companions.
The days my husband went on official tours used to be a testing time for me. My house would instantly transform itself into a battlefield with yours truly holding a broom or any available implement to drive these creatures out of my domain. With my attention completely on these reptiles, I would lose sight of any obstacles in my way like a chair/stool or sometimes even the wall. On one occasion, I tripped over a stool and fell on my face not to mention another time when I collided against a wall!
Towards the end of my twelve-month stay, I began to realize that these lizards are harmless creatures leading a dull life on the wall, eating a fly or an insect now and then but had no intention of harming the human species! Perhaps their only entertainment was teasing me.
RatAttack!
As I began to empathize with the lizards, I ran into a new species… rats. I was like Prince Uttara fleeing from the battlefield the moment the enemy appeared. From the coastal city, we moved to a bigger city. Since I had to report for work earlier than expected, I moved first while my husband joined me after 8 months. I soon realized that I was not home alone as the house was infested with rats and it looked as though I was trespassing into their territory. Unlike Abhimanyu, who courageously entered the chakravyuha alone, I used to request my house help to enter the house first. When we switched on the lights, we spotted three to four rats escaping from a hole in the kitchen door to the guest room and from there they were quick enough to zip through another outlet into the balcony. Such rapid movements of these feisty creatures were enough to give full vent to my lung power. I let out a loud shriek and jumped onto the divan. The rodents hiding in the balcony appeared to interpret my loud cry as a battle cry. They descended in full force. The rat traps and poison kept in all strategic locations did not seem to have any effect on these pests. They seemed to possess nerves of steel! My sudden outbursts and Tarzan-like cries turned me into a laughing stock in front of my house help’s family.
On one occasion, I had invited my friend’s parents for dinner. We were in the middle of our meal when I sensed a pair of eyes staring at me. I spotted a rat sitting in a corner as if mocking me. Unmindful of my guests, I shouted and climbed onto the dining table. My guests with their mouths full of food were obviously aghast to see me on top of the dining table after knocking down a few dishes! By the time, I could recover and justify my strange behavior, the rat had escaped through the front door! Before leaving, my friend’s father whispered gently, “The solution to this rat menace is a carpenter”. I gave him a puzzled look and he explained that a carpenter can nail wooden planks on the doors to plug the gaps in order to keep the rats out.
Flights of fright!
Our next destination was a beautiful town well known for its flora and fauna. We thought the best way to experience the pristine surroundings was to go trekking. Accompanied by my sister and my husband, we headed towards a nearby forest, fully equipped with a camera and trekking gear. On reaching there, we hired a guide and started our two-hour trek into the wilderness. A day before our arrival, there had been heavy showers, which had made the ground damp. We were advised to smear tobacco powder on our legs and were given a special kind of socks to prevent leeches from attacking us. As our trek progressed, the guide was pointing towards some rare flowers and insects found in the forest. At one point, he stopped in his tracks and turned towards us. I was directly behind him. “See, these are leeches whose staple food is human blood,” the guide said. That’s when I realized that his index finger was pointing toward my leg. 10 to 15 leeches were climbing my leg with much enthusiasm! It seemed that I was their preferred lunch for the day!
I was dumbstruck by my first sighting of these black creatures all set to feast on my blood. Our guide beckoned to my sister and my husband who were engrossed in soaking up Mother Nature’s glory. A minute later, I had turned into a lab specimen. Three curious faces were peering at my extended right foot, waiting to see whether one of the leeches would penetrate the sock and go for a vein underneath. On seeing the leech for the first time, I lost my voice for a minute or two. Once I regained it, I let out a shriek loud enough to deflect my companion’s attention from admiration of the leech’s rhythmic movements on my leg. My shriek was strong enough to stir the serenity of the woods too. My husband used the umbrella as a weapon against the leeches while I tried unsuccessfully to escape. Ultimately, I took to my heels, pausing in between to shake my legs vigorously to dislodge the invaders.
Soon we regrouped. Trying hard not to laugh, my sister and husband were full of regret. They were regretting that they forgot to capture my predicament on camera!
A wild terrain ahead?
We recently shifted to a new city known for its seafood. What could be in store for me here? I can hardly wait. Crabs, for one, may not be a bad start.
