Grand in more ways than one!
“Please don’t grieve, believe me, your grandmother is in a better place”, a relative tried to pacify me when my grandmother’s body was being taken to the crematorium. At that moment, the pathos and suffering were so intense that I just nodded in agreement. I guess this statement has stayed with me even after 8 years of her demise. I often wonder why should we let ourselves believe that the departed soul has gone to a better place. That leaves a nagging thought…..Why didn’t we try to make this a better place for her, then, probably she would have lived longer… I guess, I am reading too much into my relative’s statement. If my grandmother was around, she would certainly chide me for putting on my thinking (read analytical) cap without doffing it off soon. Her typical advice would be, “Stop taking things so seriously, learn to use both your ears effectively unwanted words enter one ear and let it quickly exit from the other !”
Choddo jaane do(let it be) was probably the only two Hindi words she uttered with full confidence and with much effect, I must say. Whenever I used to rest my head on her lap, it was a signal enough for her to comprehend that something was wrong. After giving a patient ear, she would utter this pearl “Choddo jaane do”. It was her way of saying don’t brood and spoil your health by worrying a lot. Just take things in your stride and move on. This was no pep talk to mollify her granddaughter. An embodiment of optimism, she truly lived her life by staying stoic and courageous in the most stressful situations. It was in the year 2013, when she was admitted to a local Hospital that the doctor jokingly remarked, ‘Your grandmother’s b.p is normal but I doubt if I can say the same about the people who accompanied her!”. Except for a stomach-related ailment, lifestyle diseases like diabetes and BP never ventured close to her. Yes, she led a full life and died due to old age-related issues at 83.
One may ask what is the point of regretting things that could not be done when a person was alive? Yes, I admit that I am guilty of not spending enough time with her in the last few months of her life. I could have just sat near her and read a newspaper or just spoken about some mundane things like how Cadbury Gems has changed its packaging and there is a new chocolate in town that tastes much better than 5-star’s. Such talk may sound trivial but her eyes would light up the moment someone would utter the word gems. She derived great pleasure by doing the simplest of things. For instance, watching an old movie on TV and reminiscing about a time spent with a relative or a friend would bring a smile to her face. Every time, her elder brother visited, her happiness knew no bounds. The bonding between the sister and brother was so intense that my daughter had once remarked, “Amma, I hope the closeness between my brother and me remains intact in our old age too”.
Every Saturday morning used to be a moment of frenzy and excitement for her as it was the day when the weekly Kannada magazine would hit the stands. I can recollect innumerable instances like this which validates the fact that simple things that we take for granted were gratifying activities for her. Spending time with her grandchildren and great-grandchildren was her most cherished moment and being the first granddaughter, I had the coveted title of being the most pampered one and she made no qualms about hiding this fact.
Her simplicity, innocence, and joie-de-vivre kept her in good spirits at all times. The most important trait that I am trying hard to imbibe even to this day is her mental strength and willpower which remained steadfast and strong till the very end.
She is not physically present with me today but her straightforwardness, wit, willingness to help, generosity and kindness have always had a positive effect on my life and will continue to do so in the years to come…..
