Speak.

I want to discuss the importance of learning and adapting to communication styles. When individuals model different communication methods, it can be a gateway for verbal warfare or misapprehension to occur. Understanding the attributes and proneness of different communication needs can help us to adequately converse with people who have a different communication style, without it being a power struggle. To further expound there are various types of communication behaviors, but I want to focus on the main four.

Passive: Communicators usually fail to express their feelings or needs, allowing others to express themselves. Frequently, a passive communicator’s lack of outward communication can lead to misunderstanding, anger build-up or resentment.

Aggressive communicators: often issue commands, ask questions rudely and fail to listen to others. But they can also be considered leaders and command respect from those around them.

Assertive: Assertive communicators can express their own needs, desires, ideas and feelings, while also considering the needs of others.

Passive-aggressive: Appear passive on the surface, but within he or she may feel powerless or stuck, building up a resentment that leads to seething or acting out in subtle, indirect or secret ways. Ultimately, passive-aggressive communicators are aware of their needs, but at times struggle to voice them.

https://online.alvernia.edu/articles/4-types-communication-styles/#:~:text=The%20aggressive%20communication%20style%20is,attacking%20them%2C%20among%20other%20traits.

With that being said, it’s imperative to understand your own communication style so you can defend your communication requirements while simultaneously being able to identify when you need to adapt to someone else’s communication needs. Here’s the thing though, we often bypass the part about adapting to other people’s communication style. For illustration, I had to part ways with someone that’s been in my life for fifteen years because my communication needs were not being met. To dive deeper, my communication style is passive, so when someone is speaking to me in an aggressive matter, it causes me to withdraw and I feel disrespected. The other individual’s communication style is aggressive/ passive aggressive. I tried my best to adapt, but I was always unsuccessful. This was on the grounds that I was the only one trying to accommodate this person’s communication needs. The outcome of this was separation.

I took a survey via Facebook that I would like to share with you to help open your mind. The question was: “how do you feel about having to adapt to other people’s communication styles? do you feel like you should? if so, why? do you feel like you shouldn’t? if so, why not? There were four responses as follows:

Morgan: Does this person also want to meet you part of the way with your communication? If they aren’t willing to try to communicate with your method as well, it is a situation where you need/ want to contribute more than you are requiring the other person to contribute?

Masha Ben Judah: you absolutely should and have to If you want to master communication. I am a long- time salesman, everyone isn’t the same. It takes skill to learn how to effectively speak someone’s language. And it doesn’t mean you are changing who you are.

Alexandria: I think it depends on the importance of that person in your life. Both people should be willing to meet in the middle and compromise.

Michelle: It depends on how important that person is to you? In a relationship you need to be able to express your needs to one another, and that includes how people communicate with you. I know personally that I make it of great importance to set boundaries for myself and communication, Xpress those needs to those in my life, and try to understand what their needs may be of me.

I am saying all of that to say this: learn your own communication style and be open to learning other people’s communication methods. We do not all communicate the same and often times we will have to adjust our approach and modify our delivery when speaking to certain individuals. You can still stand your ground and you can still say what you need to say. I just understand that accommodating communication needs that differ from your own is necessary. This can also ensure longevity and healthy relationships with your loved ones.