Growing Up 1/2 Japanese In San Francisco
My Mother’s Japanese Cultural Influence
Japanese Doctors
One of my earliest memories with my mother is listening to her rattle off the short list of items that I would eat in rapid-fire Japanese. Sitting next to my Japanese doctor, I emphatically shouted “No way! I eat more than just rice and noodles.” Although I can’t remember if I answered in English, Japanese or Japan-glish, I do recall my statement withering away into the dust, as my doctor reprimanded me for not eating a healthy, varied diet.
He gave me strict guidance — eat a more diverse array of foods, or else! With a huge grin on her face, my mother repeated his statement for the next few days, weeks and months. But I wasn’t the only one who got the brunt of his strict manner. Both of my parents were scolded for taking me to Japan at the young age of 6-months-old. According to him, a newborn baby should not be traveling halfway across the world.
While he did have a valid point, there were a variety of instances that would not be acceptable in mainstream American society. For example, when my mother was pregnant with me, one Japanese doctor told her she couldn’t have any sweets until after she gave birth. So my mom happily went along with this specific guidance during her pregnancy.
Occasionally, she lamented that she could not eat sweets, particularly chocolate.And after nine months on a very strict, yet healthy diet, she finally gave birth to a healthy baby girl at which point, she figured she would finally be able to eat the chocolate that she had been craving for so painstakingly long.
Then, her worst nightmare occurred. Low-and-behold a different Japanese doctor told her that it was unwise to eat sweets while she was breastfeeding. Disappointed, yet determined to have a super healthy child, she listened to that piece of wisdom.
It’s rare to find such strict adherence to a doctor’s advice of semi-arbitrary rules, except in Japanese culture. Anyone and everyone in the medical profession is highly respected. A doctor’s advice is not something one questions.It’s just a fact. Since the doctor said you shouldn’t eat chocolate, you don’t.
Nowadays, she eats one small piece of dark chocolate everyday to soothe her sweet tooth, and pretty much whatever sweet thing she feels like eating that day. Take that, doctor.
Growing up in the heart of San Francisco, it was easy to have a strong Japanese influence — I had Japanese doctors, dentists, schools, abacus classes, and grocery stores.
Japanese Language
Every Saturday morning, I attended Japanese school with full-Japanese students. There, I learned that I was at a disadvantage since I only had one parent that spoke to me in Japanese.
Our household communication was like a mini cross-cultural, diplomatic session at the UN between Japan and America.
My father could not communicate in Japanese, and my mother had trouble communicating fluently in English.As a young child, I learned to be the mediator, so I took special pride in speaking the right language at the right time. There are videos of me speaking to one parent in English and immediately switching to Japanese to speak with the other one.
Most of the time, I did not confuse the two languages. However, I remember one word in particular that slipped by.
For many years, I pronounced “garage” as “gara…ji,” because that’s how my mother pronounced it. It’s also how the word is pronounced in Japanese.
When I was around eight or nine, my father finally told me how to pronounce the word properly. Surprised that I had been saying the wrong word for years, I was completely floored — some might even say flabbergasted.
And my dad explained that he never told me the correct pronunciation, because he liked the way my mother called it. We all had a huge laugh about it. All of us now pronounce the word correctly, but every time someone mentions my realization, we all start to giggle.
Japanese Abacus Classes
Drilling math problems into my brain with an abacus was an enlightening experience. Few people in America have heard about an abacus, and even fewer people know that you can take classes in it.
Once my mother heard that it would help me improve my math skills, she was hooked. I enjoyed it too, because required the use of my hands — an added perk for someone who learns by doing.Even more important, I was good at it.
My mother was able to convince one of our family friends, who has a mixed Black and Filipino daughter to take the classes with me. Both of us became good enough to attend abacus competitions, where students were measured based on agility, and efficacy.
Imagine a gym-sized room full of Asian students seated in neat rows and armed with an abacus as their weapon of choice. A dizzying cacophony of small fingers hammering away on wood filled the gym. Each student plugged away at his or her own abacus, trying to solve the problems as quickly and accurately as possible. It’s like the Asian version of SAT testing.
I’m not sure how many competitions I attended or even how long I took these abacus classes, but I do know two things. One, I walked away that day with a 2nd prize award that day, and so did my mixed friend. Two, I had incredible multiplication, division, subtraction and addition skills compared to my classmates. I blew them away at the multiplication game called Around the World.
One of my crowning moments of elementary school was beating my school principle at the game. And I credit it to my hardcore training in the abacus. While my incredible multiplication skills only helped me during my initial years of primary education, I enjoyed being a part of the “underground” training program.
In America, very few people even know about the existence of an abacus, let alone a class that you can take. I was glad to be part of this world, thanks to my Japanese mother.
In typical San Francisco style,my mother had the Japanese world at her fingertips. To celebrate all types of cultures, this city offers a multitude of street festivals. Where else can you take abacus classes, have Japanese doctors and speak Japanese with Japanese natives, except in San Francisco? It’s as if my mother never left her home country.
That’s also why I’ve had such a diversity of responses to the question people always ask me:“what are you?” More on this topic soon.
Read more Japanese cultural influences here.
