Communism: The Real Human Cost
MOSCOW — The subject of how many windows were broken under communism has taken on a new life recently as Americans are shocked by violent acts of anti-window discrimination.
A group of professors in Moscow has gotten together to calculate the true cost in real economic terms.
“We know that the Soviet Union demolished a lot of buildings, as did the People’s Republic of China and many countries in the Soviet-dominated Eastern Bloc,” says Professor Mikhail Ivanov. “No one has ever taken a comprehensive study on how much the windows cost.”
In a conference room full of American liberals and Russian intellectuals, there were audible gasps from the American side as Professor Ivanov revealed the total cost.
“We estimate that as many as one hundred billion windows were lost, at a total cost of perhaps a trillion dollars. This horror cannot be overstated. We humans must learn from our mistakes and assure that no window is ever broken by a radical ever again.”
Trump administration official Sean Spicer read a statement live on C-SPAN to commemorate this groundbreaking study.
“These professional anarchists have broken billions of dollars worth of glass in Berkeley and in Washington D.C. alone. This new report from the Moscow group is staggering in its implications. No, no, we’re not taking any questions from you, you’re fake news. We hope that this harrowing report serves as an example of the horrors that can a society driven by left-wing radicals can take. These windows are never coming back. These windows cannot be replaced. The Trump administration will be taking steps to assure that American windows remain strong, fortified, and free from the tyranny that anarchists and communists wish to impose. Viva la windows.”
It can be confirmed that one reporter with CMB was so touched by Sean Spicer’s beautiful statement that he began crying, as reported on Fox News.
“My family lost all of our windows during our time in the Soviet Union,” the reporter stated. “These communists have always been devilish destroyers of windows. I will never forget the terror. I will never lose this pain. Windows should be sacred, whether they’re in a Starbucks or a Bank of America.”
