Snowflakes Reflect On Killing Nazis in WWII

MUNICH — Nearing the 72nd anniversary of World War II’s end in Germany, many of the remaining veterans have come forward to speak of their experiences in the world’s most deadly and destructive war.

“I froze that Nazi something good, I tell you,” said one snowflake. “What when we was little budding ice crystals up in them clouds I looked down and I said, “there’s some bad people.” We knew we had to get ’em.”

The snowflakes came from all walks of life. One had been in the atmosphere for only fifteen years when they decided to join the fight.

“When I was a little flake I wanted nothing more than to brutalize some of those fuckers. We all looked down in eager anticipation. We all knew we wanted to get at those Nazi bastards.”

After Adolf Hitler’s strategic blunder, the first of many, he launched Operation Barbarossa, an attack on the Soviet Union.

“We knew our day was coming from that moment,” another snowflake recalled.

As Operation Barbarossa heated up, the winter came quickly. By late November of 1941, the Nazis were already at serious risk due to the rapidly approaching winter deaths.

“We really enjoyed that winter,” remarked one snowflake with what can only be described as the most bizarre smile this author has ever laid eyes on. “Thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of Nazis all dead and frozen under my comrades! It was beautiful. We might not have been able to stop the horrors in Germany and in Poland under German occupation, but we at least provided a lake of frozen Nazis for the Soviets to walk over and get it done. Truly, the glory days of any snowflake.”

Asked if any snowflake expected a repeat of these events, Mr. Snowflake had few remarks.

“No, the world is too civilized now. I think next we might end up freezing some Americans at this rate [laughs].”