Fuster Cluck
post #3
We cannot make it through this life without enduring trauma. Though our marks and scars differ, the wounds affect us all. As we experience a traumatic event, the impression of the pain is recorded on our bodies, our minds, and our spirits. We have been changed by it and find ourselves in need of healing. But, where do we go in our moments of our deepest need? Who or what will help us mourn what has been harmed or lost? Some are able to find security and healing with others while many are not and find solace in disassociation, repression, or masking grief behind veils of addiction. But, that does not have to be the end. Through communal lament we can find healing in the face of another.
What does it look like to heal and mourn loss amidst a culture that bombards us with image-management? Too many people know the intimate tale of being silenced and shunned for sharing truth when smiles and superficiality were actually preferred topics of engagement. These isolating reactions only lead to further loss for the traumatized individual. Yet, the opposite can be true. When our wounding is be embraced by another with love and authenticity, trauma and lament intertwine, and provide opportunities for intimacy with ourselves, God, others.
However, one of the most difficult aspects of trauma is the tendency to berate ourselves amidst the humiliation, shame, and harm that we may feel as a result. But, if we are able to acknowledge the devastation inside we can find intimacy and honor within ourselves. Regardless of how long we have carried the pain or disassociated from what took place, there is hope for healing. Children who have
learned to disconnect or fragment due to the overwhelming effects of a traumatic event have done so in an effort of self-preservation. Some argue that these skills are God-given abilities which help the child to manage and navigate the trauma until they are able to integrate that which has happened at an older age. When they are ready, through lament and mourning in the presence of a trusted other, these adults can begin the healing process.
Being able to remove our emotional blockades and barriers in the context of a safe listening presence allows great restoration to occur. Whether we find that solace in a friend, therapist, or God when we sit in the empathetic presence of an engaged, trusted, and non-judgmental listener the journey towards healing begins. We will slowly be able to see ourselves, even that which we are most ashamed of, through the eyes of a loving other. We may even see the image of God reflected through them.
As we allow the fullness of who we are to be seen, whatever that may look like, we are able to witness God communing with us through a trusting community. Armed with patience and desire, we brave the pain that healing requires as we focus forward on our restored future. With courage, we move giving voice through transparent prayers to that which has been lost and endured through the traumatic experience. This is the courageous act of intimacy with God that leads us to hope and healing.
On our quest to heal from trauma, it takes tremendous courage as we authentically engage others, God, and even ourselves. It is this intimacy that allows us to feel more connected and grounded as we continue our journey toward healing. As we lament and mourn that which has been lost within a trusted community we experience the love and acceptance through the face of another. It is here that we find what our hearts have been longing for in God, ourselves, and a trusted other as they accompany us in our venture toward healing.
